Biography of the Damned
by mumyou nanashi
Summary: Shinn Asuka writes the memoirs of three people viewed by the world as antagonists. [Chap1 revised yet again]
1. Foreword

_**General Disclaimer: **I do not own Gundam SEED/Destiny and other related articles._

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**Biography of the Damned**

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"_What we call the beginning is often the end _

_And to make an end is to make a beginning. _

_The end is where we start from."_

_- T.S. Elliot_

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**Foreword**

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_In the end, the boy died._

Probably not the most proper way of starting a story, but then again, that was how the boy lived – knowing that he was going to die at the very end. On the other hand, isn't that what real life is? "Everything is born…and eventually, it all dies. It's as simple as that."

It begins when a person is born, and then it ends when that person dies; unlike in a story, wherein it starts somewhere during the course of a person's life and then it ends when that person has overcome certain trials and tribulations – in short, an event worthy of the phrase, '…and they lived happily ever after.'

Just like the boy, we are all aware of the truth that we are living on borrowed time. But that is where the similarity ends and the distinction begins. It is in this story that you will discover these similarities and differences.

In the real world, life doesn't always end with happy endings. More often than not, it ends with regret, anguish, pain, suffering, sadness, and hopelessness. But of course, there are some exceptions. It is up to you, the reader, to judge whether the boy's life had a 'happy' or 'sad' ending.

I will try my best to stay true to the facts as much as possible. I wasn't there to witness most of the events – I only relied on information that I gathered from years and years of research, from countless individuals, and from the boy himself before his inevitable passing. I have spent the better half of my life digging through old records, reading journals of long-dead men, tracking down leads that more often than not led to dead ends, talking to people from the highs and lows of society, going to places long-abandoned by human life, and piecing together a puzzle of which the final picture I did not even know of.

Even now, I still cannot say if what I have concluded is the entire truth or not. Human nature, after all, is so much more complex than what science deems it to be.

Science played a huge part in the boy's life. In more ways than one, he might even be called a child – or a product – of science. And if one would observe the laws of logic, it would follow that he owed his life to science and that science was his parents – his creator.

At this point in time, you might be wondering who I am. A close friend, perhaps? In some ways, yes, and in other ways, no. I must confess that, up to this day, I am still unsure. The boy was secretive and mostly kept to himself. Nobody knew what he was thinking, what he was feeling. The people around him, myself included, wanted to know him better to gain a deeper understanding of why he did the things he did.

Why, then, am I doing this?

Perhaps, it is in partial fulfillment to the requirements of a creative-writing class that I had enrolled in. Perhaps, it is one way for me to focus on something else besides my life. Perhaps it is because of a morbid desire to find someone else unluckier than me. But I would be lying if I said that… because I am no longer the bitter person that I was during the war. Through the course of this – shall we say – 'project', I have learned to accept and to let go…

…but never to forget.

Perhaps, it is to show that human life is too precious to be tampered with – to prove a certain person wrong in his views of the world. In a way, I see myself in him. He is the personification of the desperation and the hopelessness that we all feel at one point in our lives – a tragic character indeed.

He was one of those that I failed to protect. One of those whom I broke an important promise to. Perhaps I am doing this for my own peace of mind. To assure myself that, maybe, just maybe, I managed to save a small part of him – the part of him that was human.

_In the end, the boy died; but his untold story lived on._

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- _Shinn Asuka (17 November C.E. 76)_

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_**Author's Notes: **The format of this fic, as you will see, will appear as if it was written by Shinn Asuka. Every chapter will be introduced with a pre-chapter of Shinn's experiences that will show the parallelism of both stories. Think of this fic as Gundam SEED/Destiny from the points of view of the villains/antagonists._

_Please feel free to ask questions, leave comments, offer speculations, and even correct mistakes through your reviews._

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_**Sources: **gundamofficial (dot) com, gundams (dot) net, seedgenesis (dot) net,Haro-Haro & Tori-Tori fansubs, Hiro fansubs, SEED fansubs, forums at gundams (dot) net, and various sources._

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_**Addendum:** I have edited chapters one to three in the light of recent release of information._


	2. Chapter One Homecoming

_Mendel Colony was where it all began. It is now just an empty shell of what it once was – a place filled with so many hopes and dreams. It was an accident that led Kira Yamato, Mwu La Flaga, and Rau Le Creuset on that god-forsaken place. It was near impossible for someone to arrange a flight there because of various reasons. I had talked to several individuals and none were willing to even allow me to borrow a rented shuttle._

_I knew a very powerful and influential individual who would be more than able to help me. I had hoped that I would not cross paths with her during the course of this project but it seemed that I had no choice. It was inevitable, I suppose, and impossible, seeing that she was somehow connected to the project itself as well. Yes, it was still a bit early for us to meet again after everything that has happened. But I learned as well that pride was a small price to pay for attaining one's goals._

_It was then that I decided to pay Cagalli Yula Athha – current Head Representative of Orb – a visit._

_In the middle of the conversation, she suddenly looked at me straight at the eye._

_"Shinn… you know you're always welcome here, right?"_

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**Chapter One – Homecoming**

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Many people have become famous for their achievements in science. Students see it as an inconvenience to them. Being made to remember each and every one of those people, along with their achievements, it was no wonder that science evolved into the taxing subject that people remember it to be.

But what people often forget is that science is an important aspect of life itself. For it is because of science that mankind has come such a long way from being the descendants of monkeys as Charles Darwin had projected.

Science had lead to an interesting discovery of Gregor Mendel's. Genes - unit of inheritance, a piece of the genetic material that determines the inheritance of a particular characteristic, or group of characteristics. And he had observed it on, of all things, garden peas. He had paved the way for a new branch of science: genetics.

As science progressed and technology grew, the knowledge attained from genetics was used for genetic modification of food. Then, the first cloned sheep, Dolly, was born. But the subject of human cloning was considered taboo and was shunned by most.

Years and years passed, wars were fought and ended, and the world gradually changed including its views on certain issues. But nevertheless, research was done in secret and it resulted in two things –two very important things that led to mankind's ultimate fate.

Human genetic modification and cloning.

Human cloning was possible. According to theories backed by years of research, it was possible. But along with it came many problems and issues. Cloning was illegal and was still considered taboo. But genetic modification was not. And genetic modification had seemed much more appealing and beneficial for mankind.

Another name was added to the list of famous people in science that students hated so. George Glenn. He was the first ever human whose genes had been modified and enhanced. His achievements had proven how better his kind were to normal un-modified human beings.

He had used a term to describe his kind.

Coordinator.

Because for him, his kind were the coordinators of human evolution.

Years passed and a space colony was built on Lagrange point 4. It was aptly named Mendel colony and it hosted several genetic engineering businesses and companies. It served as a research institute solely for the purpose of genetic modification.

It was a place where the rich and famous were seen, following the trend of having their offsprings genetically modified to become a step closer to being perfect. But the process was not perfect and resulted to unsatisfied parents.

Many scientists had dedicated their lives to finding the solution to this particular problem. One of them was a man whose name didn't quite make it to the list of famous people in science. Ulen Hibiki. Dr. Hibiki was very devoted to his cause. He was willing to use any means possible to attain his goal – the Ultimate Coordinator. A coordinator that was biologically perfect.

Dr. Hibiki had the will, the strength and mind to make his goal possible. But he missed one thing – the resources.

And that was why Al La Flaga deemed him perfect for the job he had in mind.

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In exchange for financial support and funding, Dr. Hibiki would produce a Coordinator clone of La Flaga. They had different dreams for mankind but they were the same when it came to their dedication. It didn't take much for La Flaga to convince Dr. Hibiki.

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"_Cloning is illegal!"_

_"Laws will change. After all, they are something set by people."_

_"But…"_

_"It's a technology we've attained after much hard work. What is the point of not using it? You want the research funding, don't you?"_

-

One year after their fateful arrangement, Al La Flaga Jr. was born. He wasn't an exact replica of Al La Flaga as the laws of cloning observed. No, he was a genetically enhanced version of Al La Flaga - the result of one man's fanatical belief in his superiority among other individuals and of his fervent desire to live forever.

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_"Is this really me?"_

_"Well…"_

_"No matter… he will be the heir. Not that woman's child."_

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Al Jr. spent the early years of his life in Mendel Colony, under the scrutinizing gaze of various doctors and scientists. They had all concluded the same thing. He was highly intelligent, had immense spatial awareness, and physical attributes, among others. After making sure that all his vitals were normal, he was sent to the La Flaga household to take his place as Al's 'heir'.

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"_Care for him and educate him well. Don't let him turn out like that idiot."_

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It was in that mansion that he met Mwu La Flaga, the real son of Al. They had met only once. But that few minutes would remain etched in their minds forever. It was in that mansion that Al Jr. had shown signs of an unstable condition…

…and character.

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It had started out as a normal day for him. He had eaten breakfast at promptly seven o'clock in the morning, had been called by his private tutor at nine, had been praised exactly twenty-nine times by said tutor, had eaten lunch at precisely twelve o'clock in the afternoon, and had gone on his daily ride at three.

He grew up to the adoring praises of his tutors, and to the amorous treatment of his father. Sometimes, his father took him to the big mansion near the house where he was staying at. Frankly, he couldn't ask for more. Of course, being the intelligent boy that he was, he couldn't help but feel that something wasn't quite right. About what, he had no idea, but he vowed to find out what it was someday.

Because Al La Flaga Jr. was supposed to always have the answer to everything.

His day-that-was-like-no-other was coming to a close with him sitting on a couch in the library, reading a book. He glanced at the clock and saw that it was nearly time for dinner. He stood up to return the book on the shelf when he suddenly felt a sharp pain in his chest.

He released his hold on the book and instinctively clutched his chest with his hand. The pain had become worse and had affected his breathing. He collapsed on the carpeted floor and tried vainly to breathe through short, ragged gasps.

It was then that a certain word escaped Al Jr.'s parched lips for the first time.

_"Help…"_

It was in that position that his guardian found him a few minutes later – hands clutched in his chest, body unconscious and curled up in a fetal position on the plush carpet. Al was informed about his son's condition and the former immediately arranged a shuttle bound for Mendel.

It was in Mendel that Al Jr. was born and it was in there that his judgment was passed.

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_"His telomeres are short."_

_"Telomeres?"_

_"It is a region of DNA at the end of a chromosome that protects the start of the genetic coding sequence against shortening during successive replications. We had run several tests on him and we have concluded that it is hastening his ageing process. It seems that the body cannot cope up with it, and that causes the seizures."_

_"Yes, but you said this would be perfectly normal for the first few years! I thought his ageing was already under control!"_

_"It appears that I have made a miscalculation. There were several factors – important factors – that were not considered."_

_"Dr. Hibiki. You of all people should know that I am not a scientist, and thus, does not understand all the gibberish that you spout!"_

_"Mr. La Flaga. Al La Flaga Jr. was cloned from you, his genes, his cells, everything was copied from you. And that also includes the age of your telomeres. Telomeres shorten as a human being ages."_

_"You mean…"_

_"He is a 40-year old man, trapped in the body of an eight year-old child."_

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Al Jr. didn't need to hear the rest of the conversation. He felt his lips curl into a sneer at the sudden revelations. So, he was a clone – a failed experiment. It was an eye-opener for him – of mankind's greed and of their unquenchable thirst for the unattainable.

Because of those desires, his life was reduced to nothing and seemed to be as insignificant as the lives of lab rats and guinea pigs. He had been played for a fool, betrayed by someone he called 'Father', given life only to be snatched it away from him.

Al La Flaga was the proof of the greed that resulted to him – a failed experiment.

And he would pay.

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"_The master and his wife are still inside!"_

"_Mom…Dad…"_

He stood in the shadows a good distance away from the burning house. The fires of hell were punishment enough for a self-obsessed bastard like Al La Flaga. He took one last look at the hellish scene before him and then he walked away, never looking back, never feeling any remorse for what he had done.

Emotions like those were for humans.

And a clone like him was anything but human.

A new life deserved a new name.

And hell-be-damned if he was going to use that greedy bastard's name as his own for the rest of his life.

That day Al La Flaga died, and Rau Le Creuset was born.

Le Creuset…

French for _The Crucible._ An eye-opener, that play was. It was in fact one of the plays that he had enjoyed watching with his so-called father. A very fitting name for one tasked to pass judgment on all humanity by penalty of death.

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Tensions between Coordinators and Naturals, the un-modified humans, had forced the Coordinators to leave the Earth and settle on space colonies at Langrage point 5. These colonies were then dubbed the PLANTs, or Productive Location Ally on Nexus Technology.

Their demands for independence from the sponsor nations on Earth had made them into the nation of Coordinators. They organized a Supreme Council, the executive committee which governs the PLANTs and controls the ZAFT – the Zodiac Alliance for Freedom Treaty – forces.

Rau Le Creuset went on to become one of the first enlistees of the ZAFT military. He graduated with high honors and was ranked as a red-coat. He then met a genetic engineering scientist, Gilbert Dullindal.

What should've been a purely physician-patient relationship grew into a semblance of a true friendship.

Gilbert knew of his condition and was able to formulate a much effective and advanced prescription. It helped alleviate the pain that came with the seizures and it also helped slow down his ageing, but it still wasn't enough to completely cure his condition. Sooner or later, his body will no longer respond to the medication, Gilbert warned him of that.

But he couldn't die yet. Not without fulfilling his plans first.

He had heard of several rumors about the incident at the Mendel colony and because of his connections, he was able to do a thorough investigation of the place right after it was abandoned and sterilized.

The name Hibiki was forever etched in his mind and he recognized it almost immediately when he saw the plaque attached to the door. The office had been long abandoned even before the Mendel incident. He opened the door and discovered many, many important facts about him and the people related to his being.

He was about to leave when he felt something. He could hear soft crying at the back of his mind. He was certain that he was the only one in the colony. It had been abandoned for close to four days now due to the biohazard accident. It had been sterilized with a bombardment of x-rays three days ago, exactly one day after the accident.

But the crying was so close by. He could clearly hear it in his mind, could almost feel the deep sadness and loneliness that came with it. They said that there were some portions of the colony that were unaffected, so it was possible that someone might have been left behind.

And as if drawn by some invisible magnet, his feet began walking on its own accord towards a random direction. After several minutes, he was surprised to learn that he was in the deepest part of the colony. He stopped in front of a closed door, where the sound obviously came from. Not only his mind could hear it, his ears heard it as well.

He glanced at the dilapidated sign in front of the door.

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_Specimen 65-09-27-01_

_Gene Source: Al La Flaga_

_Specification: Genetically Enhanced Clone_

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He recognized the rows and rows of cryogenically frozen fetuses that he had seen in the other room for what it really was. Every time a clone would die from premature ageing, a new one would be awakened to take its place.

_'In that way, the greedy bastard really would have lived forever,_' he thought with disdain, his lips curling into a sneer. _'Must have been Hibiki's idea. I doubt that greedy bastard knew anything else except for his foolish notion of immortality._'

He stared at the door for a few moments. Behind that door, he was sure, must be someone exactly like him. One who looked just like him. One who would understand the complexities of his mind. One who shared the same fate as he did. The person behind the door was also him.

For the first time in his life, Rau Le Creuset found someone that he wanted to look after. He let a smile grace his normally mocking features and opened the door.

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Beneath the darkness of the room, a very young child with blond hair and blue eyes was huddled in a corner. Had the circumstances been different, he might even be considered an adorable little angel. But he wasn't an ordinary child – never was, never is, never will be.

He hugged his knees closer to his chest and buried his face in them. He had always felt lonely on that place. But for some reason, it seemed as if the place had grown more distant, cold, and aloof. Even his only visitors – the weird men in white clothing – had stopped coming. He was too scared – and too hungry – to do anything.

He settled on crying.

He had been crying for so long that he had grown used to the sound of his own sobs when he heard the door slowly creak open. He lifted his head to look at the person who opened it, but it was too bright.

The person approached him and as the boy's eyes adjusted to the lighting, he saw the smiling face of a blond. The white mask that the man was wearing covered the upper-part of his face, preventing the child from seeing his eyes. The man knelt beside him and gently stroked his head. He stared at the man through tear-stained eyes, his cries slowly reducing to sniffs, until they were nothing more but hiccups.

"Do you have a name?"

A name? He had heard one of the weird men in white clothing call him something, but he wasn't sure because it wasn't addressed to him. He shook his head slowly, sadly.

The man stood up. "Let's go, Rey," he said simply.

"R-Rey?"

The man nodded. "That's your name. Let's go," he repeated.

'Rey' stared at the man's outstretched hand and took it tentatively. And with that they walked out of the dark room, with the blond man closing the door behind them.

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_**Author's Notes: **Thanks to **MidnightReverie**, my first ever reviewer for this fic._

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_**Addendum:** Chapter revised for the nth time. Some things I changed: 1) Rau's original name was Al La Flaga Jr. 2) The clones' (Rau and Rey) telomeres are short, not only because of intentional ageing (in Rau's case), but also because their cells came from a 40-year old man. So, naturally, their cells are also 40-years old._

_I apologize if I tend to revise the chapters a lot. I just want this fic to stay true to canon as much as possible. Although, I'm technically ignoring the Astray Manga. Why? Simply because I have not read or seen it. Wouldn't want to butcher the characters._

_Source: Wikipedia._


	3. Chapter Two Diversion

_I had long resigned myself to the fact that throughout the duration of my research, I would undoubtedly meet up with persons I didn't particularly like. For instance, the conversation with Cagalli was abrupt, but it had ended quite civilly, in my opinion. Sooner or later, I would have to talk to her brother, Kira Yamato, as well._

_But for now, it was Athrun Zala's turn._

_Being a subordinate of Rau Le Creuset, he often played chauffeur to the famed commander. As expected, he didn't know anything about the personal life of his commander but he knew someone who did – Le Creuset's former housekeeper._

_She was no longer around when Athrun met Le Creuset; as such, he had no idea what she might have looked like. It seems that the only way that Athrun knew about her was because it was the military who gave the recommendation. He gave me a name. It wasn't much but it was enough to get me started._

_Before I left, he gave me this uncertain, somewhat sympathetic, smile._

"_Shinn… you don't have to do this."_

_"I know. But I want to."_

_"Because it keeps you busy?"_

_"Because it keeps me sane."_

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**Chapter Two - Diversion**

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When she accepted this job, she had no idea that she would be working under one of the top-elites of the military. But she was a professional and thus, couldn't care less who her employer was. She had heard quite a number of rumors surrounding the top-gun – some good, some bad, some downright disturbing. But out of all the rumors that she had heard, she made a point to remember just one: that Rau Le Creuset was a mystery, mask and all, and that he liked staying that way. She, being a professional, let him.

And for all points and purposes, it was one of the reasons why Marietta Brombeck served under him for quite a long time.

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Marietta had never taken Rau Le Creuset as someone who took home orphans, but one day, she found him doing just that. Not that he took home an orphan, because the child looked too much like him. However, of all the rumors that she had heard about Rau, none of them ever included having a lovechild or being particularly a womanizer. But no matter how curious she was, she never asked.

She was used to being ignored, being nothing more than a housekeeper but that day, a day seemingly reserved for surprises, was an exception.

"Get his size and buy some clothes for him," he ordered, referring to the child. He gave her some money and, having already taken off his mask, was about to go to his room when the child let out a whimper. Rau looked back, knelt beside the child and smiled at him. "I'm going to my room to rest. Go with Marietta, she'll take care of you."

The reaction from the child was unexpected. The child smiled – a smile so full of trust. Rau stroked his hair and, satisfied that the child was alright with the arrangements, went to his room.

The child stared up at her curiously and she felt her heart fill with pity when she realized the condition of his clothes. It was not in her place to question where Rau got this kid from, but all the more, she couldn't help asking just a small query. "What's your name?"

The child smiled, his eyes closing into happy half-circles. "The man said my name is Rey."

"Well, let's get you cleaned up, Rey. What would you like to eat afterwards?"

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"Has he been crying again?" Rau asked her curtly, after noticing the wet handkerchief that she was holding. He had just come home from the military headquarters – or so she was told.

Marietta nodded. Rey had been having nightmares for the past nights that Rau hadn't come home. She had tried to ask him what it was about but the child just shook his head and continued crying softly, huddled in a corner of the room.

"I think, sir, that it's separation anxiety. Most children go through that phase at this age," Marietta suggested softly.

Rau scoffed. "Indeed."

"Would you like to eat your dinner now, sir?" she asked timidly.

Rau was already on his way to Rey's room. Without looking back, he answered, "No." He opened the door without knocking and closed it softly behind him.

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Rey looked up when he heard the familiar closing of the door. When he recognized who his visitor was, he stood up and ran towards Rau, hugging his legs. Rau gently pried Rey's hands off of his knees and knelt in front of him, so that they were level with each other.

"Why have you been crying?"

Rey's smile fell and he sniffled. "I was scared because I thought I was back at that dark room."

Rau scrutinized him with an unreadable expression on his face. After a few moments, he smirked. "Didn't I make sure your room is properly lighted? Don't tell me you need more lights than these?" he asked, indicating the brightly lit room.

Rey pondered on it for a moment and then shook his head sheepishly.

Rau stood up. "Get back to sleep. You have lots to do tomorrow."

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The next morning, Marietta was surprised to see that Rey was already up so early. He usually woke up a little after nine in the morning but it seemed that today, he made an exception. He was sitting on the couch, looking very excited, and glancing every now and then at the direction of Rau's room.

She cleared her throat to indicate her presence. Rey looked enquiringly at her and she smiled. "Would you like to have breakfast now?"

He shook his head. "I'm waiting for Rau," he eagerly explained.

Marietta nodded and left him alone in the living room. The door that lead to Rau's room swung open and Rey immediately stood up. He noticed that Rau was not dressed in his usual red clothes and white mask. "You're up early," Rau commented.

"You said I have lots to do today," Rey answered happily.

Rau just raised an eyebrow in amusement. Then, he got a glass of water and swallowed a blue and white pill. Rey looked at it curiously. "What's that?" he asked as he pointed to the clear box full of pills on Rau's hand.

The expression on Rau's face was impassive. "Medicine."

Rey's eyes widened. "Are you sick?"

Rau chuckled, thinking of the double entendre. "Maybe I am," he answered amusedly. He knelt down and patted Rey on the head. "Don't worry."

For the first time, a skeptical look made its way onto the child's face. Rau smirked confidently and gestured for him to follow. He led him to a room on the other side of the house. The room was large, with the walls painted white and the carpeting with the same color. It was fairly empty save for a white, grand piano placed in the middle.

After surveying the room timidly, Rey looked up at him questioningly.

Rau didn't answer him and instead, entered the room and went towards the piano. He motioned for Rey to follow him. "I'm going to teach you how to play the piano. That way, you'll have something to do when I'm away."

Rey complied and as he got near the instrument, he realized just how big it was. The seat was too high. He was contemplating on how to get on it when he felt strong arms lift him up and then deposit him on the chair.

"Don't worry, you'll grow sooner than you expect," Rau said softly, with a slightly wistful undertone. He sat beside Rey and poised his hands on top of the keys. "Watch and listen closely." And with that he began to play.

The house was filled with different tones that day, alternately switching between Rau's skilled playing and Rey's inexperienced ones. Several times that day, Marietta found herself pausing in her work, closing her eyes and listening to the soothing music.

-

The piano lessons went on for days. Sometimes it was held under Rau's critical supervision but oftentimes, under no one's supervision. Marietta had not been forbidden to watch after Rey but Rau did not permit it either. She had settled on listening to Rey's awkward, but strangely appealing playing as she went by her daily chores.

But something changed in the boy, he no longer cried whenever Rau was not around and Marietta had assumed that the nightmares had stopped coming. He practiced dutifully without anyone telling him to and it was obvious that the child was enjoying it.

He stayed inside the piano room and would only come out when it was time for him to eat or sleep or to take a bath or when Rau came home. Marietta glanced at her wristwatch. Seeing that it was nearing lunch time, she went to the kitchen to prepare the food.

After setting the dining table, she went to the piano room and knocked softly on the door. The playing stopped and she distinctly heard shuffles coming from behind the door. After a few moments, the door swung open and Rey came out.

"Would you like to eat lunch now, Rey?" she asked kindly.

Rey beamed and nodded affirmatively. They walked towards the dining area and Marietta watched the young child as he ate his lunch.

Out of nowhere, Rey paused in his eating and stared up at her with those big, blue eyes. "Is my playing getting any better?"

Marietta had no idea where this conversation was going but she answered anyway. "Yes."

Rey pouted cutely as he shook his head. "But it still doesn't sound like Rau's."

Marietta chose her words carefully. "Well, your music is different from Rau's music."

"But I want it to sound just like his!"

Marietta chuckled softly. Children would be children. She opened her mouth to tell Rey that his music didn't need to sound like Rau's because his playing was unique and unlike any in the world and that it was better that way. But she heard Rey whisper something that puzzled her greatly even in the years to come.

"I have to…"

-

It was exactly three months since Rey arrived in the Le Creuset household when it happened.

The day had started out like any other day for all the occupants of the house. Rau had the day off and it would certainly be spent with the usual piano lessons with Rey. The child had woken up early, as he always did whenever Rau was around and they ate breakfast together.

Marietta stayed in the kitchen, but she could hear Rey talking animatedly and Rau's occasional comment.

_"I've gotten taller!"_ Rey announced proudly.

Marietta chuckled softly, amused at the child's innocence. There was a pause and then Rau answered. _"How did you know?"_

_"I can climb the stool without using a step-ladder!"_

Another pause. _"That's good."_

Marietta frowned. From the tone of Rau's voice, she could tell that he thought the exact opposite. She didn't know why and she felt slightly concerned. But she quickly brushed the thought away, supposing that it was just a product of her imagination.

After breakfast, the two went to the piano room and the house was filled once again with soothing melodies.

Marietta resumed her work, going about her usual chores – humming slightly in tune to the music as she did. She had grown quite fond of the little child and his music was stuck in her mind. As she was sweeping the floor of the dining room, the music suddenly ended with bad notes and wrong keys played, followed by a cry.

She dropped the broom that she had been holding and worriedly rushed to the piano room. She could hear Rey whimpering and sounding as if he was having a hard time breathing. She raised a closed fist to knock on the door when it suddenly flew open.

Rau was carrying the crying child in his arms and, ignoring Marietta, quickly rushed out of the house. At the back of her mind, she mentally noted that it was the first time that Rau Le Creuset had gone out of the house without his infamous white mask.

-

He listened to the now even breathing of the child sleeping on one of the couches in Gilbert Dullindal's office. Rau stared poker-faced at the gentle rising and falling of Rey's chest. After a while, he closed his eyes and crossed his arms. "So, you can't do anything?"

The black-haired, saffron-eyed man, Gilbert, shook his head regretfully. "I'm afraid I can't. His condition is just like yours."

Rau's eyes flew open and his face was unreadable for a moment before his lips curled up in a smirk. "You'd think that after being given the chance to remedy it, those scientist bastards would have actually made some progress." Then, with a hint of bitterness in his voice, he added, "They're all a bunch of idealistic fools, that's what they are."

Gilbert had a thoughtful look on his face. "Surely, you should've suspected it."

"I did. But you know that foolish notion called hope?" Gilbert raised an eyebrow, and Rau chuckled. "I guess I'm an idealistic fool as well."

"He told you this morning that he grew taller?" Gilbert asked, amusement evident in his voice.

Rau shrugged nonchalantly. "He sounded so proud of himself." He scoffed. "And here I was, thinking that he'd use that step-ladder for a longer period of time. It cost a lot you know."

Gilbert watched as Rau tousled the slumbering child's hair. "Yes. I bet it did."

-

They came home at half-past nine that night. Marietta had waited for them to come home, worried about what had happened to the child. Her worries resided a bit when she saw Rey sleeping peacefully in Rau's arms.

The question was at the tip of her tongue but she squelched the urge to ask it out loud. Instead, she asked, "Would you like to have some dinner, sir?"

Rau shook his head and brushed past her, walking towards his room. He opened the door, but before he went inside, he said in a quiet voice. "Your services are no longer required here."

Marietta swallowed hard, nevertheless, she did not let the shock or surprise that she felt show in her face. She nodded and bowed slightly. She watched her now former employer's back until the door closed behind him.

She never asked why because it was not in her place. And when morning came, she left the house, never coming back.

-

Rau glanced at the child at the corner of his eye. He could see the slight frown marring his features. He decided to answer the unasked question. "Marietta's gone."

The frown became deeper. "Will I be left alone when you go out?"

"I won't be going out for awhile."

The frown was instantly replaced with a smile. Then, Rey resumed his playing.

Rau closed his eyes and listened intently, his mind conjuring up various memories.

_"Why did you teach him how to play the piano, anyway?"_

_"To keep the both of us sane."_

-

* * *

-

_**Author's Notes:** Marietta Brombeck is an original character. And, just in case you're getting ideas, she and Rau aren't in a relationship of any sort. It's purely employee and employer. I put emphasis on her professionalism. She likes Rey. She really does. But her professional nature doesn't allow her to mix personal feelings with her work._

_Thanks to those who reviewed: **elven-girl10**, **lightyearsaway**, **lonekai**, and **Yzak-Freak**._

_Please review and tell me what you think. Ask me anything. I don't bite._


	4. Chapter Three Mirage

_I started searching for Marietta Brombeck as soon as I got into PLANT. I had a bit of a hard time because it turned out that she was already married and had changed her last name. She turned out to be a nice, amiable lady in her early thirties with honey blonde hair and green-eyes. To be quite frank, she seemed plain-looking and not someone you'd look twice at. She said she had two children, a seven-year old boy and a four-year old girl._

_Just as I figured, she was reluctant to tell her story at first, but after I explained my situation to her, she finally relented. She revealed that she became rather fond of Rey and was sad when she had to leave. She confessed that she missed him and when I told her he already passed away, she broke into heartbreaking tears._

_Our conversation was interrupted when her two children arrived. She called out to them and told them that she was in the living room. When the two entered the room, I felt my heart stop. One of them had short, blond hair with the familiar blue eyes._

_Marietta gave me a melancholic smile, her eyes still glistening with tears. "This is my son, Rey."_

-

* * *

-

**Chapter Three - Mirage**

-

* * *

-

"You're up early," Rau commented when he saw Rey all dressed-up and ready to go. Rau told him yesterday that someone wanted to meet him. Rey had shown only curiosity but now, Rau realized that the child couldn't hide his excitement any longer.

They left after they had eaten their breakfast. Rau drove them to Gilbert's place and Rey had spent the fifteen-minute drive, looking curiously at the sights. He pulled over the huge driveway and parked behind the grey car.

Rau took off his seatbelt and was about to get out of the car when he saw Rey tugging at the strange contraption. Rau smirked at him before leaning over and helping him. After that, they both made their way towards the door, with Rey sticking close to Rau's legs.

Rau pressed the doorbell and waited a few minutes before it opened, revealing the smiling face of Talia Gladys. "Good morning," she greeted. Then, noticing the blond child hiding behind Rey's legs, she knelt down and smiled. "You must be Rey. Hello, I'm Talia."

The little child blushed. "I'm R-Rey…" he stammered.

Talia smiled at him. Then she stood up and led them inside. They went to the living room, where a black-haired man was sitting on the couch, arranging the chess pieces in front of him on the coffee table. He gave Talia an affectionate look before acknowledging Rau. "I'm glad you could make it."

"What? You were expecting us to suddenly expire?" Rau responded good-naturedly. Rey peeked out from behind his legs to see the stranger. Rau knelt before him. "These are the people that I'd like you to meet."

Rey nodded. Rau stood up and gestured at Gilbert. "This is Gilbert Dullindal –" then, at Talia "–and you've already met Talia."

Rey smiled shyly. "It's nice to meet you, Gild… Gilb… Gli-bert… Gibr… " he stammered. Apparently, he was at that age where children usually have a hard time pronouncing consonant blends. He blushed and looked up at Rau for help.

Rau's eyes twinkled in amusement. "Your name's too complicated for him."

"Oh, is that it?" Gilbert asked Rey kindly. "Well, you can just call me Gil." He gave the child a small nod of encouragement. Beside him, Talia hid a laugh behind one hand and Rau rolled his eyes.

"Gil…" This time, Rey was able to say the name with ease. Talia looked at him expectantly. "Talia…"

After the initial introductions were over with, the four of them were seated on the living room – Gilbert and Talia on one couch, and Rau and Rey on the opposite. On the coffee table were three steaming mugs of hot coffee for the adults and a glass of cold orange juice for Rey, along with a beautiful chess set with glass pieces.

The three adults talked about work first. Gilbert was a genetic engineering scientist, while Talia was a political analyst. Then the topic of the conversation was steered in to the current situation of Earth and the PLANTs, to which Rau had quite a lot to say.

Rey was watching the exchange with interest when Talia suddenly addressed him. "Would you like to go see the garden, Rey?"

Rey looked up at Rau, as if to ask for permission. Rau gave him a subtle nod and then went back to his conversation with Gilbert. Rey climbed down from the couch and was a bit surprised when Talia held out a hand to him. The child's cheeks went pink as he took it. Talia, then, led him out into the garden.

It was the first time that Rey had seen anything like it and it showed by the way his eyes widened in awe. Talia watched him with a hint of amusement. The garden was typical and ordinary compared to other gardens that she had seen. There wasn't any unusual flower or plant. It was decorated with the usual green grass and ordinary flowers here and there. A few birds could be heard chirping in the background and the occasional butterfly could be seen fluttering from flower to flower.

Talia led him to the small swing set and assisted him as he sat on it. "Hold tight, okay?"

Rey nodded affirmatively and Talia pushed him. The child gave a little squeal of delight as he felt the air rushing towards him. Talia laughed along with Rey, prompted by the child's simplicity.

-

Rau watched the scene through the glass doors in the living room with a blank expression on his face. He reached for his cup of coffee and watched the depths swirl before taking a sip. He looked up at Gilbert with a smirk. "So… when's the wedding?"

Gilbert shrugged imperceptibly. "Who knows?" He moved his rook forward.

Rau diverted his gaze to the chess set in front of him. They were already in the middle of the game, with the opening phase done almost automatically. He moved his bishop diagonally and captured the black rook that Gilbert just moved. "Rey likes her."

Gilbert chuckled softly. "What's not to like?" He regarded the position of Rau's prominent pieces and decided to move his queen backwards.

Rau smirked, amused that his friend had seen through his plan. He quickly changed tactics and moved his knight instead. He leaned back and raised an eyebrow at Gilbert, as if daring him. Gilbert replied by moving a pawn forward. Rau rolled his eyes and captured one of his bishops instead.

"And I thought you wouldn't notice," Gilbert commented, rather dryly.

Rau ignored his comment. After a pause, he cleared his throat and said in a clear voice, "I need to ask a favor from you."

Gilbert raised an eyebrow, but otherwise said nothing. Rau holier-than-thou Le Creuset, asking a favor from him? But then again, when it came to his situation nowadays, it seemed that he was forever asking for favors. However, this was the first time that Rau had asked directly and had even used the word.

Rau straightened up and then sighed, somewhat dejectedly. "Tell Rey."

Two words that meant so much more – to an outsider it would seem inane, but to Gilbert, he understood completely. He nodded. "I promise."

Rau stared at him in the eyes – blue to saffron. "You promised Gilbert. You promised to tell him everything. Remember that."

There was a tiny detail that Gilbert couldn't ignore. "And why can't you do it?"

A smile. Not his usual sneers or a smirk or a smug grin, but a genuine smile. An unusual, yet genuine smile. "I look into his eyes, and I see the innocence that I wish I had at that age. I don't want to be the one to take it away."

-

"I usually play the piano at home."

"And that's all you do?"

Talia saw the back of the blond head bobbing up and down in confirmation as he swung closer to her. She pushed Rey's back again and it swung forward. "Next time you visit, you'll play with toys."

"Toys? But I enjoy playing the piano." The confusion was evident in his voice.

Talia giggled. "Alright, you'll play the piano the next time you visit."

"Rey!" It was Rau, his voice coming from the direction of the house.

Rey's turned his head eagerly. Talia stopped the swing, lest Rey do it himself and injure himself in the process. The moment the swing came to a stop, Rey jumped off of it and ran towards Rau. But about halfway, he turned around and pulled Talia with him.

"We're going," Rau said simply.

Rey nodded and turned to Talia, "Goodbye, Talia." Then to Gilbert, "Goodbye, Gil."

Gilbert smiled at him and ruffled his hair while Talia knelt in front of him and gave him a hug. "Come back and visit us soon."

Rey stood frozen for a moment then, instinctively hugged her back. They pulled apart and proceeded to the front door. The couple watched as Rau assisted Rey in getting into the passenger's seat of the car. Rau gave them a nod in acknowledgement, and Rey waved enthusiastically and stopped only when Rau leaned over and attached the seatbelt. After that, the car pulled out of the driveway and out of the gate.

Talia and Gilbert watched until the car disappeared from their line of sight. Talia sighed and Gilbert put an arm on her shoulder. Before they went back inside, Talia gave Gilbert a meaningful look.

"Wouldn't it be nice, Gilbert, to have a child of our own?"

-

"Rey?"

Rey swallowed his eggs and toast and looked up at Rau expectantly.

Rau smiled at him. "Finish your breakfast. We're going out."

Rey nodded happily and drank his milk in one gulp. "I'm done!" Then, he clambered off the chair and rushed to his bedroom to get dressed.

Rau stared at his shaking hands and made a little grunt of annoyance. He could feel his breath hitching up and he quickly reached for the box of pills in his pocket. He took out two of the blue and white pills and swallowed them at once. He reached for the glass of water and gulped down hungrily; he put the glass back down, none too gently, and took several deep breaths as his breathing began to subside and the pain to recede.

He took one out again, for measure and was about to swallow it when Rey entered the room. The curious stares that Rau usually got from the child whenever he took his prescription were gone. He assumed that the child had gotten used to it already. Satisfied with his deduction, he popped the pill in his mouth and washed it away with a drink of water.

"I'll be leaving you at Gilbert's office."

Rey looked up excitedly. "Will Talia be there?"

Rau smirked. "Who knows?"

-

Gilbert's workplace was dark. There were many funny, cylindrical contraptions in the middle of the room filled with liquid and swirling 'stuff.' He inched closer to Rau, feeling the familiar sense of fear creeping up his spine.

Rau was talking to Gilbert about something and Rey looked up at the mention of his name. Gilbert noticed this and gave him a kind, reassuring smile.

Rau knelt down and gave him the usual pat on the head. "I'll come back in the afternoon. Gilbert will take care of you." He stood up and smirked at Gilbert. With that, he walked away.

"Sorry, Rey," he whispered as soon as the child and his black-haired friend were out of earshot.

-

There, in his outstretched hand, lay a box containing scores of blue and white pills – the same ones that he had seen Rau swallow so many, many, countless times.

Big, blue eyes stared confusedly into saffron ones – a look that held a myriad of questions… Questions that only the black-haired man in front of him could answer.

Rey tilted his blond head to the side inquiringly. "What are these for?"

Gilbert gave him a smile laced with… was that sympathy? "These are for you, Rey."

Big, blue eyes blinked. He opened his mouth, but closed it again. His brows knitted on his forehead – the first sign of confusion. There were so many things that he wanted to ask, but only one word seemed appropriate. "Why?"

Another sympathetic smile, this time with that understanding look that most adults possess. Gilbert released a huff of breath he didn't realize that he had been holding, before plunging in. "Your telomeres are short."

"Oh."

Rey bowed his head, and let his bangs hide his face. His hair really was getting long. Maybe he should follow Rau's suggestion and cut it. But Rau's hair was long and there was nothing wrong with it. With the thought of Rau, he remembered the blue and white pills that were being given to him. Gilbert said that his telo-something was short. Just like any child, he was full of questions that needed to be answered. Yes, most of the questions that he usually asked were unusual, but this time, he was quite sure any child would wonder the same thing.

"Gil?"

"Hm?"

"What's a te-lo-mere?" The foreign word rolled strangely in his mouth.

This time, it was those saffron eyes that blinked. In Gilbert's mind's eye, he could practically envision Rau sneering at him. He recalled their conversation the other day and felt his lips curl up in a rueful smile. _'And I suppose it's alright for -me- to take it away?'_ He looked at the young boy looking up at him with eyes that held so much of the 'innocence' that Rau was talking about.

Little children like Rey weren't the only ones who liked to ask questions; even adults, who were supposed to be smarter, adults like Gil, needed to ask questions every now and then.

_Did he have the heart to tell this young boy what exactly telomeres are?_

_Did he have the heart to tell this young boy that because his telomeres were short; his life would be short, too?_

_Did he have the heart to tell this young boy to stop hoping for a future because he didn't have one?_

_Did he have the heart to tell this young boy that he was as damned as Rau Le Creuset?_

_Did he have the heart to tell this young boy that he -was- Rau Le Creuset?_

Only a heartless person can do it. And Gilbert Dullindal, though he may be many things, was not heartless. He felt a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. And apparently, so was Rau Le Creuset.

The answers to every one of those questions would have to be a 'no'. He smiled at the blond, blue-eyed boy staring up at him. _'The innocence I wish I had…'_ He knelt down and stroked his hair in a fatherly manner.

"I will tell you some other time, Rey. For now, just take them and everything will be alright."

In the child's mind, these words rang true. That fatherly pat, those words, they were similar to the actions and the words of the man who 'saved' him from that dark room. He would trust this man just as he had trusted Rau Le Creuset.

The look on the child's face was none like he had ever seen. So full of trust. Complete and utter trust. The same look, the very same ideal that will be imprinted in this child's mind for the rest of his very short life. Gilbert took notice of it and felt his resolve waver.

Did he have the heart to tell this young boy that Gilbert Dullindal was not someone that he should trust?

No.

No.

Never.

Gilbert decided to be heartless some other time.

For now, he would let Rey live in false realities.

-

* * *

-

_**Author's Notes:** As you can see, a part of it is from my one-shot/drabble, 'Mirage'. You can say that that drabble inspired this whole fic. You know, I've just realized that this fic is not just about Rey's transition from innocent child to manipulating villain. There's a little bit – okay, a lot – of Rau in here, too. And a little bit of Gilbert and Talia. Can't really blame me for putting in a hefty dose of them, they're really the ones who contributed a lot to Rey's life._

_If you think some of them are out of character, or if there's something that seems unclear, please don't hesitate to tell me. Reviews are highly appreciated and regarded._

_Thank you very much to the following reviewers: **koyuki-hime, RainPure, Yzak-Freak, **and **elven-girl10.**_

_**Special Thanks to my** wonderful friend and critic:** Lia lostsmile.  
**_


	5. Chapter Four Verdict

_Before going back to Earth, I decided to spend my time here in the PLANTs to the fullest. I went to the cemetery. Most of the graves were empty, since most of those who died did so in space. Even now, I can still see the events of the war clearly in my mind._

_I was told that all three of them died together inside the Messiah when it exploded. Lunamaria and I were taken to the Archangel, for the treatment of our injuries, with Athrun supervising the whole incident. As I was being patched up in the infirmary, I remember hearing distinct voices outside, talking. One of them, I recognized as Athrun's and the other was a soft-spoken male, which I now realize belonged to Kira's._

_Even now, his words still rang clear in my mind._

"The blond kid…he shot the Chairman… Then he chose to stay…"

_I stopped in front of three of those empty graves._

Gilbert Dullindal

Talia Gladys

Rey Za Burrel

_Even after all that's happened, I still consider him as a friend – my best friend. I looked at his grave and felt tears sting my eyes._

"…He chose to stay and die."

-

**Chapter Four - Verdict**

-

When he fetched Rey that afternoon, the child had been silent. And even now, during the ride home, he wasn't staring out of the window to watch the scenes roll by. He just sat there, clutching the box of blue and white pills and looking deep in thought.

"Is something wrong?" Rau asked, breaking the unnerving silence.

Rey didn't answer and Rau was beginning to suspect that he was going to be ignored all throughout the ride home when a small voice spoke up. "Rau? what's a te-lo-mere?"

Rau's grip on the steering wheel tightened. His eyes became a cold blue and when he spoke up, his voice was emotionless. "How should I know? I'm a soldier, not a scientist."

Rey was silent again. After a minute, he sighed. He held up his hand with the box of pills for Rau to see. "Is this the same as yours?"

Rau kept his eyes on the road. "I don't know. Didn't Gilbert tell you?" But he knew the answer to that. Of course, Gilbert didn't. _'Gilbert didn't because he didn't want to scare you… didn't want for you to lose hope.'_

Rey shook his head and leaned back into the passenger seat. "Rau? If I grow taller would my te-lo-meres grow longer?"

Rau briefly recalled how he reacted when he learned of his true nature. He had been ignorant then too, thinking that he was someone special, superior, above others. He remembered the lies that he had been told, that he had seen, that he had heard. If he hadn't woken up on that precise moment that La Flaga was talking to one of the scientists, would he have known? If he hadn't felt the pain then, would he have known? If he hadn't noticed how fast he grew up compared to that idiot Mwu, would he have known?

To hell with Gilbert and his false hopes. Gilbert was just as human as all the others. Maybe it had been too much for him to handle. After all, they didn't know what it was like for him. For Rey.

He shifted gears and then accelerated the car.

"No."

-

It was the first time, after two weeks, that they've seen each other again. He stood there as he watched her approach him… with another man by her side. She stopped when she saw him and whispered something to the man. Afterwards, the man shot him a look, and then retreated into a corner.

He watched her walk towards him, ever so slowly. The scene was different from what he had dreamt of for so long. He had imagined her wearing a white, flowing dress not her office clothes. He had imagined her holding a bouquet of roses, not a handbag. He had imagined her with a huge smile on her face, not tears in her eyes.

They stared at each other for a long while. Their eyes the only ones holding conversation. It was her who broke eye contact first.

"Is this it?"

"It can't be helped," she answered, her voice breaking with emotion. "I've already decided; I want to have children. That's why I will follow the rules of PLANT… And that's why I can't be with you anymore."

Only two words escaped his lips. "I see."

She looked up at him, eyes brimming with tears and so full of emotion. He met her gaze fully. The things that he wasn't able to say – the things he couldn't say – were clearly written on his face.

Gilbert Dullindal offered his hand for a handshake.

And Talia Gladys took it.

-

It had become a sort of daily routine for Rau to drop off Rey at Gilbert's house or at his office. With the tensions increasing between Earth and the PLANTs, Rau was almost always away, doing work for the ZAFT military. There were times when Rey would stay at Gilbert's house for days at a time, waiting for Rau to fetch him.

It had always been the same. Gilbert, and Talia, if they were at Gilbert's house, would meet them and then exchange a few words with Rau, afterwards, Rau would kneel before him and tousle his hair and walk away. But today was different.

Rau had pulled over the driveway, just like always, and they rang the doorbell. But this time, it was Gilbert who answered it. Rey looked behind him curiously, obviously searching for Talia, but kept his silence. Gilbert led them to the living room and Rey noticed that the man was smiling less than usual.

He stuck close to Rau and the two adults seemed oblivious of the child's presence as they talked.

"I tried, really, to find something that would make our relationship work," Gilbert explained, his tone a little strained. "I worked on it, researched on it, so that we would be able to have children. But it was all futile."

Rau sneered. "A woman is only fertile for a short period of time, Gilbert. Did you expect her to stick around while you tinkered around in your laboratory?" He scoffed. "Things like that take years and she could already be infertile by the time you discover it."

Gilbert shook his head sadly. "But she could've waited for me, to at least set things straight – given me time to think. I didn't even know that she had already reached a decision." He clenched his fists, his anger showing. "It makes me want to curse my fate. Here I am, a Coordinator, a supposedly superior individual, and yet, I can't even be together with someone I love!"

"I don't know anything about such things," Rau replied. He knelt down in front of Rey and stroked the child's hair. The child smiled and ran towards the piano, climbed on the chair and began playing it. "All I can know are the things about myself." He straightened up and smirked at Gilbert.

"But if I already know who I am and what I want, why can't I still find the answers to my questions?" Gilbert countered. "What was she thinking when she decided that we can't be together anymore? There were plenty of ways to remedy the situation."

"It's the same as finding your way out of a labyrinth," Rau answered confidently. "There will always be several paths before us. All we can do is to choose one and follow it." His eyes hardened and the expression on his face turned callous. "All of you follow it, believing the things you wish for lie beyond that path. But I follow it in order to verify that there is nothing there, as I expect.

There was a moment of silence as they stared at each other.

Finally, Gilbert's lips curled into a rueful smile. "So, you're saying that there's nothing that I can do. Maybe you're right… The decision has been made."

Rau approached Rey and smiled at him, indicating that he was leaving. Immediately, Rey stopped playing the piano and clambered down the chair. Rey seemed to want to walk him until the front door but Rau shook his head.

Before he went to the foyer, he looked back at Gilbert and asked, in a meaningful voice, "Oh? Who made the decision? And what was it?" Then, he began walking towards the front door, the sound of his footsteps getting farther and farther until it was cut off by the soft closing of a door.

-

As soon as he got on the car, Rau felt his hands shaking. There it was again. He yanked the glove compartment open and extracted the box of pills. He took out three of the blue and white pills and popped it into his mouth, forcefully swallowing it without water.

He leaned his back on the driver's seat and sat there for a moment, trying to regain his breath, all the while thinking about the previous events.

So, Gilbert had finally experienced what it was like, not having a say with the goings-on in one's life – finally felt what it was like not being given a choice. His reaction was fairly predictable, thinking it unfair and inequitable. But what happened to Gilbert was fairly small compared to his situation. Gilbert was wrong; he always had a choice. And by not saying anything that night, he just wasted it.

That was the difference between them. No matter what path Gilbert chose, there will always be something different waiting for him at the end. But for Rau Le Creuset, it would always be death.

Rau saw his reflection on the side-view mirror and his eyes softened. He just wished that it would be different for Rey.

In a way, he was being selfish, because he was also Rey. He just wanted Rey, or himself, to have the normal life that was taken away from him. He had been given a chance to change his fate, through Rey, but it seemed as if he was going to fail.

But in reality, did fate really give him a chance? Or was it just to spite him – to make him realize just how useless and hopeless he really was?

Those choices that one has to make… they are a privilege. No matter what choice they make, there will always be something waiting for them, a fallback, something to look forward to in the future.

And that's what made their life all the more valuable.

-

Even after Rau had gone, Gilbert just stood there, fists clenched, staring – no, glaring – at the chess set lying innocently on top of the coffee table. So that was really it. He was nothing but a pawn in the game of life. Sure, he was allowed to move freely and make a few choices, but in the end, fate will always interfere.

And how ironic.

Yes, it had been decided.

It had been decided the moment he walked in Patrick Zala's office and presented the results of his research about the recent decline in the third generation population of Coordinators. It was him. It was him who found the source of the problem. It was him who presented the solution to the problem.

Why did he have to meet her, if they weren't going to end up together?

If he'd only known the future – what it held for him…

But, if he'd had known from the beginning that they were not meant for each other, would he have still approached her that day and introduced himself?

Then, a small, tentative voice broke into his thoughts. "Gil?"

Gilbert relaxed slightly and arranged his face into an amiable expression. "Yes, Rey?"

Rey's cheeks turned pink and he diverted his gaze onto the floor. "I-I don't want to impose or anything but…" he stammered.

Gilbert raised an eyebrow, now fully amused. A child his age hardly used the word 'impose'… but then again, how old was Rey, really? He sat on the couch and waited for him to continue. He stared directly at the child, to show that he had the man's full attention.

Rey took a deep breath and sighed. "I just want to know if you'll finally tell me what a telomere is," he finished in a small voice. He no longer had a hard time saying the word, as he had pondered on it for such a long time, but the meaning still remained foreign.

Gilbert stared at the child standing before him. He mentally noted how much he had grown for the past two months since the first time he laid eyes on him. He was much taller now, albeit, he still hasn't reached farther up to Rau's waist. His hair had grown longer, but still the same shade of golden blond. His face, although still childlike, had grown much leaner. He no longer stuttered when saying his name, but still called him Gil out of habit, perhaps. Sometimes, he seemed more mature for his age but that childlike innocence in him still remained.

Rau's words echoed louder in his mind. _"All I can know are the things about myself…"_

_If he'd only known the future – what it held for him…_

Gilbert stood up and went towards one of the shelves lining the east wall. He could feel Rey's curious gaze following him as he skimmed through the spines of the books, searching for something. After browsing through it for several seconds, he came up with a book - a plain-looking, black-covered, hard bound book with the title printed in precise letters.

He handed it to Rey, who wordlessly took it. The child stared curiously at the somewhat heavy book in his arms and, after reading the title, turned to open it when Gilbert stopped him.

"Not now, Rey…wait until you get home."

An almost unnoticeable frown appeared in the child's forehead, but he complied nonetheless. He placed the book on the coffee table and, with a nod of approval from Gilbert, went back to playing the piano.

They say that an artist's emotions show through his works of art; it is the same for musicians.

There was something different with the music that filled the house that day.

It sounded frustrated, anxious…frightened.

-

The plain-looking, black-covered, hard bound book contained all of Gilbert Dullindal's diagnoses regarding Rau Le Creuset's unusual case. He started keeping it as a journal and, at the same time, as storage for Rau's medical records.

In there, was the meaning of the word that he was so desperately seeking for…

…and more. It included the most comprehensive data and information acquired through the time-grueling research and experiments done by Gilbert to fully comprehend the strengths and weaknesses of the genetically-enhanced clone.

Rey's eyes widened, as he progressed from page to page – finally understanding the weight of Gilbert's words. He had only read up to the fifth page when he stopped, unable to continue.

The pain that he felt, the pills that he had to take, the reason why he continued to grow taller… they were all there.

He had the same condition as Rau.

But…

If he continued to age, what would eventually happen?

Rey took a deep breath and reached for the book again; when suddenly, a hand shot up and snatched the book from his hands. A dry, emotionless voice spoke up after that.

"I think that's enough for now, Rey."

Rey looked up and was startled to see nothing but emptiness in that familiar blue gaze.

-

* * *

-

_**Author's Notes**: And so, Gilbert begins to turn into Destiny-Gilbert. I took the dialogue from the Haro-Haro & Tori-Tori fan-sub. It's from episode 29, if you're wondering. After watching it for the nth time, I started thinking, those conversations actually happened. So I'll be fleshing them out and giving situations wherein Rau actually said them._

_I actually see the whole Gil-Talia break-up as the thing that made Gilbert snap. You can see it in his choice of words and Talia's guilt. Why else would she die along with him? Sure she loved – loves – him, but the thing of it is, she broke up with him in the first place because she wanted a son then suddenly she goes out of her way to die with him? The way I see it, she feels she was partly to blame for Gilbert's actions. Guilt is a strong feeling, I tell you._

_Does Rau seem nice to you? Want to share your sentiments about the matter? Want to contradict what I just stated? Got a few choice words about the ending of Destiny? Then, review and tell me all about it._

_Thank you to the following people who reviewed: **koyuki-hime, Yzak-Freak, yuugiri, Centurious, elven-girl10 **and** MidnightReverie.**_

_And also to my wonderful bestfriend/critic/beta-reader:**Lia lostsmile.** _


	6. Chapter Five Soothsaying

_I was about to leave the cemetery when a startled voice stopped me in my tracks._

_"Shinn? Shinn Asuka?"_

_I turned around and stared at the person suspiciously. He was quite tall, and had green-grayish hair. He had a bewildered expression on his face, almost bordering on comical. I felt my eyes widen when realization finally sank in._

_It was the Executive Officer!_

_Arthur Trine laughed and clapped me in the back. I never really knew what happened to him after the Fall of Messiah. It was enough that I knew that he was alive, along with most of my friends from the Minerva crew._

_"How are you, Shinn?" he asked happily. Then, without waiting for my answer, he plunged in. "So, is Lunamaria with you? Ha! I always thought you'd end up together! Oh, we really should have a reunion!"_

_I let a small smile form in my face at the thought of a reunion. "That would be…nice. I never knew I'd see you here. If I did, I'd have brought Luna along."_

_He smiled kindly and I supposed it was one of his very rare moments of wisdom, "Well, no one really knows what will happen in the future!"_

_Behind him, I caught a glimpse of the three epitaphs once more._

_Maybe…_

"Practically speaking, I don't really have a future."

_But if one knows that he has no future, wouldn't it imply that he -knew- something about the future?_

-

**Chapter Five – Soothsaying**

-

It was as if the Fates were waiting for the day when Rey had finally become aware of his unusual condition. After that, it seemed as if he aged much faster, the effects even more visible. Whence a year ago, he looked like a nine year-old, he now looked two years older. He had seemed to grow much more withdrawn and spent his days either playing the piano or reading books.

Rau glanced at him at the corner of his eyes. They were in the piano room which had now turned into something akin to an office, what with the oak desk that was placed in the corner and shelves and shelves of books lined along the walls. He was skimming through various reports and Rey was playing the piano as was normal.

The music suddenly stopped and Rau, by instinct, turned to look at Rey with a raised eyebrow. Rey had his back to him, but when he spoke, it was addressed directly to him. "I've always wondered… why you never play the piano. The only time you've touched it was when you taught me."

Rau let out a short, derisive laugh. "I'm a soldier, not a pianist."

"When I grow up, will I become like you?" Rey had asked in such a small voice that Rau had to strain his ears to hear it.

"Let's hope not," Rau answered in an inaudible voice, not quite sure whether he wanted Rey to hear him or not.

-

The darkness was consuming him. He could feel it. Each and every night that he went to sleep, he could hear it laughing tauntingly at him at the back of his head. And at day, he could feel it somewhere at the edge of his thoughts, waiting for nighttime to strike, when he was vulnerable.

He felt his chest twist painfully, and as he lifted up his hands to eye-level, he could see that they were shaking violently. His breathing was labored; it seemed that no matter how much he inhaled, air didn't seem to be filling up his lungs.

Beneath all the pain was an underlying question.

Was this one of his seizures?

Or was it fear?

Pure, primal fear.

He curled up on his bed. He bit his lip, so hard that he drew blood. He should be used to this by now. He should be. From the moment that he realized what it meant, he should have known that having them was as normal as breathing.

Breathing…

Who knew that breathing could be so hard?

But, nevertheless, he had never gotten used to it. There were times that he thought the pills were mere distractions. Sometimes, he entertained the idea that maybe it was a purely psychosomatic reaction. That, taking them would keep him busy and make him think that the pain was going away. But this time, it wasn't.

The pain seemed to strike back at him with a passion, and he could hear the derisive laughter coming from the darkness. His vision darkened, the pain intensified and the mocking laughter grew louder – he was back at that wretched room once more.

But this time, he was the one locked up in the room.

Rau Le Creuset was the one locked up and the darkness was all too consuming, with no one to open the door for him.

-

Throughout the course of their meal, silence had reigned supreme, with nothing but the gentle clink of their utensils on the porcelain plates. Life had changed considerably inside the house for the past months, subtle as it was.

Rey had noticed something different about Rau the past few days. No, not noticed – but, rather, he -felt- it. It baffled him as to why he was aware of what Rau was feeling, but chose to ignore it. He concluded that it must be somehow one of the 'effects' of having the same condition as him.

Rey felt something gnawing at his insides – telling him that something unsettling was happening – to him, to Rau, to everything. Sometimes, it was all too much for him to handle, all too much for his childlike perception to deal with.

Rau's voice broke into his thoughts. "Something bothering you?"

Rey lifted his head and stared at the person in front of him. Without hesitation, he nodded slowly. "I have this feeling… like something bad is going to happen."

Rau scrutinized him with a poker-face. Then, he shrugged casually. "Don't think about it too much." With that, he resumed eating.

But that was the thing, wasn't it? No matter how much Rey ignored the feeling, it still remained and was persistently knocking on the door to his thoughts. After much contemplation, he followed suit and resumed eating as well.

And for the rest of their meal, nothing else could be heard except for the gentle clink of their utensils on the porcelain plates.

-

Neither a hint of worry nor a trace of concern could be seen in Gilbert's features as he told Rau his observations for the past weeks, but they both knew otherwise. They had an unusual friendship – the two of them. At times it bordered on casual acquaintance, but oftentimes, it consisted of a deeper understanding of each other.

"He's worried," Gilbert noted after a quick glance at the lone child sitting on the swing in the middle of his garden.

Rau shrugged as he reached for his coffee mug. "So he is."

"Are the rumors true? About the Earth Forces declaring war against the PLANTs?" Gilbert asked as a little frown made its way into his forehead.

"They're just that: rumors," Rau answered matter-of-factly, with a sardonic expression on his face. "But judging from the current situation, I think that PLANT should be the one declaring war against the Earth."

Gilbert nodded reflectively. He knew of the 'situation' that Rau was talking about. In fact, the whole Coordinator population knew.

During a meeting with the representatives of the sponsor nations about the PLANTs' demand for complete autonomy and trade equality, the Supreme Council members were targeted by a terror attack, and one council member was slain. Blue Cosmos had claimed responsibility, but it then became clear that the sponsor nations were behind the attack.

"You should be more knowledgeable in the area," Rau commented with a pointed look. "You work for Patrick Zala, don't you?"

"As a genetic engineering scientist. Not as an army advisor," Gilbert answered with a chuckle. "But I suppose working directly under Zala could prove to be useful someday. Most especially when I need to put in a good word for someone…" he trailed off meaningfully, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

Rau rolled his eyes. "All good that's going to bring you is that you get first-hand information."

"First-hand information, indeed. I suppose this situation that you speak of is driving you on edge," Gilbert commented with a sigh.

Rau smirked. "It's the beginning of the end for mankind."

"And that's what you wish for?" Gilbert asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No…" Rau lifted his trembling hands for his companion to see. "It's what -they- wish for."

-

At the sound of the familiar voice calling his name, Rey's head shot up. He immediately got off the swing and ran towards the two figures standing at the glass doors that led to Gilbert's living room.

"Are we leaving?" he asked Rau.

The man shook his head. "No, you'll be staying here." Rau knelt down in front of him and smiled. "Don't worry too much. I'll fetch you soon." Then he stood up and with a final smile, exited the room.

Rey felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. The nagging feeling was there again, telling him that something bad was going to happen. His thoughts were interrupted when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

But it wasn't the usual blue eyes that met his gaze. It was Gilbert.

"He'll be back soon," Gilbert assured him, with that comforting smile of his.

Rey nodded. "May I play the piano?"

"I don't see why not," Gilbert answered amiably. He made his way to the shelves, picked out a book and settled on one of the couches.

As Rey placed his small fingers on top of the ivory keys, he couldn't help but feel a little relaxed – that particular activity never ceased to serve its purpose. It kept him busy and prevented his mind from straying towards adverse topics.

-

Soon.

The word had such a vague meaning, Rey realized. He had thought that he would only be spending a very short time at Gilbert's house. But already one month had passed, and Rau still hadn't fetched him.

Rey sighed and buried his head on his knees.

Maybe Rau's definition of 'soon' differed greatly from his.

He sighed once more.

He just couldn't go back to sleep after that dream – or nightmare. The memory was hazy and fuzzy but he remembered hearing Rau's voice. But it didn't sound like the voice that he was used to. Rau didn't laugh like that. And the things that man said, Rau didn't think like that.

Because…

…Rau was the first person to ever treat him like a human being, like an equal.

And all that he could do for the moment was to trust the one person that mattered…

_…Even if that person changed._

-

"Gil, when someone tells you 'soon', what does it mean?"

"It means 'after a short time'."

"A short time?"

"Yes."

"Does Rau know it, too?"

"Of course."

"Then why isn't he here yet?"

"Maybe… he just has a lot on his mind."

"What about Talia? Will she be back 'soon'?"

"I…don't know."

"Gil?"

"You don't really know what 'soon' means, do you?"

"No, Rey. I guess not."

-

One month had passed since Rey moved in temporarily into Gilbert's house. Rau wasn't the sort to make calls for amiable chit-chat and so, Rey had settled for Gilbert's updates – news which he heard from his countless sources.

It was quite normal for Rey to feel worried; after all, Rau's work bordered on the life-threatening kind. Because of his curious nature, he had learned the subtle art of eavesdropping. He often heard Gilbert and Rau talking about some sort of 'plan', but it was vague and as such, didn't hold as much impact on him as one would expect.

However, there was still that nagging feeling that won't go away.

It was getting irksome, to say the least. It invaded his thoughts, wouldn't go away, wouldn't leave him alone. Rey tried his best to shake off the feeling, doing the one thing that he knew would keep himself from thinking those thoughts.

"Why did you stop playing, Rey?"

Rey blinked. It was only then that he noticed his still fingers resting on the ivory and ebony keys. "Oh, I'm sorry."

But for some reason, playing the piano didn't seem so distracting anymore.

-

Rau was currently spending a day off from his military duties and, as was expected, had opted to spend it at Gilbert's house. He didn't see the point of bringing Rey back into his house only to drag him back to Gilbert's house later.

Rare occasion as it was, Rey had been understandably excited and had spent the whole day with Rau, talking to him and telling him everything that crossed his child-like mind. And after dinner, he asked Rau to listen to one of the tunes that he composed. The music was very appealing, and yet, somewhat sad… kind of like Rey, himself.

And now, Gilbert and Rau were watching the late-evening news. Rey had fallen asleep on the other couch. It had been a long day and the child looked tired, but happy. If it weren't for Rau telling him to go to sleep, Rey would have stayed up even later.

Gilbert stared at the grim expression on the news anchor's face.

_"Today, the Earth Alliance had formally declared war against the PLANTs…"_

Beside him, Rau's smirk became wider.

"Is this what you meant when you asked me?" Gilbert asked quietly.

Rau only shrugged his shoulders in response.

The black-haired man sighed. "I don't think this is right."

"What is right, anyway?" Rau scoffed. "Don't tell me that you didn't know what I intended to do from the beginning."

Gilbert frowned. "I had my suspicions, yes. But don't you think this is too…radical?"

"Drastic measures must be made to ensure change."

"What about Rey?"

Rau closed his eyes for a moment and stood up. He approached the sleeping child, knelt beside him and stroked his hair. A pained expression appeared on his face for a moment. The apparent hopelessness and despondency was unnerving.

"This is all for him…

_…For his future."_

_-_

* * *

_-_

_**Author's Notes:** First, a word of **THANKS** to the following people who read and reviewed: **koyuki-san**, **elvengirl-10**, and **Yzak-Freak**, in particular_

_And a big THANK YOU to my best friend/critic/beta-reader: **Lia lostsmile.**_

_If you're up for something thought-provoking and unusual, go read her fic, 'That Summer'._

_So… now, where moving forward! I watched Destiny again and I thought that, Gilbert knew of Rau's plan… or most of it. Hehe. You'll see soon enough what I have planned for them both and how their respective 'evil schemes' fall into place._

_I would greatly appreciate it if you would leave a review. After all, how the heck am I supposed to know if I'm doing this right or if someone's reading this? Comments and constructive criticisms are highly appreciated and regarded. I like the idea that I am managing to fill in the plot-holes that the writer/s of Destiny had so conveniently left gaping._

_**Merry Christmas to you all and a Happy New Year!**_


	7. Chapter Six Solitude

_As I dug deeper and deeper into Rey's past, I began to realize that this wasn't just about him. His life was so closely intertwined with the few people around him that it would be impossible not to include their own stories in this biography._

_And here, drinking coffee and sitting in front of me was another one of the many missing links that I have been searching – Captain Talia Gladys' ex-husband, David Hawse. Their marriage was short and brief, but it had ended on friendly terms. They had a six year old son._

_"Arthur may have been wrong about you. He said you were a loud and rambunctious young man," he noted genially._

_I shrugged. "I guess the key word there would be 'were'."_

_He looked around, as if looking for someone. Finally, he returned his attention to his coffee. "Did you come here alone?"_

_I felt no need to voice out my answer, so I simply nodded._

_"So, you came here alone." It was a statement, not a question. He sipped some of his coffee before continuing._

_I scoffed, not seeing where this was going. "So did you."_

_David Hawse smiled kindly. "Ah, but you – you chose to be alone."_

-

**Chapter Six - Solitude**

-

He could feel light blue eyes boring into his back. He was used to stares such as those, but not from this person. He expected this reaction from most people but not from this person.

"Rau…you promised you'd be the first to hear my piece…"

Promise? Ah, yes. He distinctly remembered that. But what did Rey expect him to do? Excuse himself from battle just because his son/clone was playing a musical composition he made himself? Oh, he could just imagine that scenario. He'd be in the middle of slashing up mobile armors and warships here and there when he curtsies and says in his most polite voice, 'Please excuse me but I've got a private recital to attend. Let's meet up again later to continue this death match in space.'

Yes, Rau Le Creuset was insane but he wasn't dim-witted.

No matter how much disappointment appeared in Rey's eyes, he would not budge and apologize. Apologizing to Rey would be admitting that he was wrong. Apologizing to Rey would be admitting -to himself- that he was wrong.

And he wasn't wrong.

He was never wrong.

He is never wrong.

His biological components may be wrong, but his creed was not.

"You lied…" Rey whispered quietly, voice flat and emotionless. But those eyes were still staring at him, eyes filled with hurt and disappointment. It was like staring at a twelve year old version of himself. But then again, Rau was quite sure that he did not look that innocent when he was that age.

Rau inwardly smirked. It was ironic how things turned out to be. He had finally achieved the highest award that could be given to a ZAFT soldier, he was finally appointed to Commander, managed to gain the trust of the highest echelons of the military, but had lost the trust of the one person he considered important.

"Trust no one but yourself… then maybe, you won't be so disappointed in the future."

-

One of the traits that Gilbert knew he possessed was tactfulness, and so, he decided to steer the conversation to more amiable topics the moment he felt the tension in the air.

"I heard that they are entrusting an elite unit under you."

Rau smirked. "That's top-secret information… What ever happened to keeping it quiet, I wonder?"

Gilbert smiled. Rau was being his usual sarcastic self while Rey was being his usual innocent self. This normally did not pose any problems but this time, it seemed the opposite. Neither of them expected Rey to act so let down by the turn of events.

"Maybe they felt as excited as you did, that they couldn't just keep it to themselves," Gilbert suggested in jest. "Either way, I'd say that white uniform suits you more than the red one," he added laughingly.

"How's that for irony?" Rau asked dryly. He shook his head. "You were never one for humor, Gilbert."

Rey cleared his throat and stood up. "I'm going to my room," he announced to no one in particular, his tone placid. He did not meet Rau's or Gilbert's eyes as he exited the room, fists clenched and head bowed.

After they heard the sound of a door slamming shut, Gilbert sighed while Rau just shrugged.

"Aren't you the least bit bothered with the way he is acting?" Gilbert asked, his brows furrowed in worry.

The familiar sneer graced Rau's features. "On the contrary, I feel relieved. He's acting like a normal, angst-ridden teenager."

Gilbert raised an amused eyebrow, but otherwise let the topic drop. He turned his attention on the gold medal lying innocently on the coffee table. For all it was worth, it did not seem very much appealing. "Many young Coordinators have enlisted in the military," he noted wistfully.

Rau closed his eyes, not the least affected with it. "So I heard. Most of them don't even know what they're fighting for."

Gilbert knew where this was going and decided to play along. "It's quite simple, really. They're fighting to protect the PLANTs and to avoid the Bloody Valentine Tragedy from happening again," he answered matter-of-factly.

Rau shook his head and clucked his tongue disapprovingly. "Wrong, my simple-minded friend." He stood up and approached the piano on the other side of the room. He stared at it with a poker-face before running his hands on the black and white keys.

Gilbert leaned back on his chair. "Care to elaborate?"

Rau slammed his hand on the keys and chuckled when he saw his friend wince. "Oh, don't worry; I will." He reached for his mask and put it back on before speaking. "It's quite simple really," he repeated his friend's words. He smirked when he saw Gilbert raise an eyebrow. "They think that they are fighting for those reasons, but in reality, they're fighting for -me-. They're fighting to finish each other off, so… they're fighting for -my- cause."

Gilbert stared at his hands and after a moment's contemplation, felt his lips curl into an amused smirk. "I see… Although I must say, that's quite ambitious and self-centered of you."

Rau smiled as well. "Why thank you. I was afraid you'd never notice."

"But I'm afraid that I have no intentions of fighting for your cause," Gilbert stated amiably. "Simply because I have my own causes to fight for. And unlike you, I do not wish for mankind's demise, I only wish for mankind's enlightenment."

"And I see that you're working on that," Rau said dryly, eyeing the notebook half-hidden by the other papers strewn on top of the coffee table.

"Oh, I am, I am," Gilbert answered dismissively with a wave of his hand.

Rau glanced at the old-fashioned wall clock on the opposite wall. He brushed imaginary dirt from his uniform and tilted his head. "I'm leaving."

Gilbert nodded once and stood up. "Do you want me to call Rey?"

Rau did not stop walking. "There is no need."

Gilbert did not say anything as he fell into step beside his reticent friend. They walked in silence towards the front door.

-

He watched from behind the safety of his window as Rau's car cruised out of the driveway. He did not even say goodbye. No 'I will be leaving now, Rey' or an 'I will be back soon, Rey'. Was Rau mad because he called him a liar? He never did understand how Rau's mind worked. Rey could remember even from way back when that Rau had no qualms whatsoever with showing his less-than-pleasing side. What happened to the sudden change in attitude?

_'Trust no one but yourself…'_

Did that mean that he shouldn't trust Rau anymore?

Rau's visits had become even rarer than before. Rey couldn't even remember the last time Rau had spent more than five hours at Gilbert's house. Gilbert's house, which was supposed to be his temporary home, had become his permanent one. He couldn't even remember what his former home looked like anymore.

Rey sighed.

Maybe he needed to see something other than the four walls of his room.

He changed his clothes into something more fitting for the outside. Afterwards, he walked out of his room and made a beeline towards Gilbert's office. He knocked twice and after hearing a muffled, 'Come in', opened the door and went inside.

Gilbert was typing something in his laptop but paused when Rey cleared his throat. He turned his full attention to Rey and flashed him an encouraging smile.

"I just wanted to ask," Rey started in his usual quiet demeanor, "if I could go outside."

Gilbert studied him for a moment before nodding. "Of course. I think that would do you some good." He tilted his head to the side like he always did when thinking about something. "The park is just a few blocks away."

Rey muttered his thanks as he exited the room. He mentally recalled the way to the park. It wasn't his first time out, but seeing as he rarely went out of the house, his anxiety about getting lost was quite understandable.

The walk was uneventful, with nothing even managing to catch his interest. It was mid-afternoon and the children were heading out in their bikes, off for their playtime. Some looked to be his age but he did not bother walking up to them and introducing himself. He liked being alone, and with his condition, it wasn't exactly advisable to make friends.

He chose a solitary spot under a _sakura_ tree. Gilbert told him that the architect was half-Japanese and planted several of its kind in the park as tribute to his native country. He sat on the soft grass and leaned on the trunk, watching the park scenery through half-lidded eyes.

The people all looked so happy. As if they didn't have a single problem in the world.

"Why don't you play with the other kids?"

Rey's eyes snapped open and he stiffened upon hearing the sudden question. It was a woman's voice and it sounded quite familiar. He could see the person from the corner of his eyes but he did not bother turning around to look at her features. He just shrugged, not caring if the lady saw his answer or not.

"Don't you feel lonely sitting here all by your lonesome?"

Rey shook his head.

"Sometimes, it's great to have company." Still from the corner of his eye, Rey watched as the woman slowly stood up and brushed some petals from her immaculate white suit. "They're even more fun than playing the piano."

At that last statement, Rey turned his head to look at the curious lady but she already had her back turned to him. He opened his mouth to ask her who she was, as she seemed to know a bit about him, but a man beat him to it.

"Talia, let's go!"

The man rushed up to her and assisted her in walking. It puzzled Rey at first, the way the man held her as if she was something extremely fragile and delicate. But as Talia turned, he saw the reason for this – the unmistakable bulge in her stomach.

Talia smiled slightly at him before walking away. The man gave him a curious look, but otherwise said nothing. A soft breeze tousled his hair and he was once again alone. He went back to people-watching, but this time, not really taking anything in.

He was thinking about the look on Talia's eyes. What did that mean? He furrowed his brows. The spot under the tree was becoming too noisy for his liking. Rey stood up and started walking in a random direction; hopefully, it will lead him to place where he can do his thinking in peace.

Before he knew it, he had reached the pond. It was quiet, where only the soft squawking of the ducks could be heard. It seemed to be quite a popular spot among the older crowd, who preferred to feed the ducks in solitude rather than listen to the boisterous activities of other people.

Rey picked a spot hidden by a tree close to the water's edge. The water reflected the blue sky perfectly. Out of curiosity, he knelt by the edge and peeked at his own reflection mirrored in the water's surface.

When was the last time that he looked at himself in the mirror? A week ago? A month ago? Three months? The face looking back at him then was just a year younger. Long blond hair that curled softly at the ends, light blue eyes the same shade as the clear sky above. He was still the same old Rey, and yet, not.

Something had changed.

Rey paused when he caught the expression on his eyes. He finally found the reason why the look on Talia's eyes seemed so familiar and why it had caught his attention. It was the same as his. But the answer led to another question.

What was the reason behind her loneliness?

-

Rey looked around and fought the urge to sigh in frustration. To say that he was stupid would be an understatement. The sun was about to set and he felt his level of anxiety rise a little. He should've taken notice of his surroundings! If he did, maybe he wouldn't be lost in the first place.

Yes, he was lost.

He had always prided himself in his vast spatial awareness. But now, he was lost. Who knew that the park could be so big? Well, at least he could be grateful to the fact that there were no wild animals in the PLANTs.

The place that he picked out was more secluded than he thought, and what little people that visited it in the afternoon were already gone by the time he decided to go home. Now, there wasn't even a single person to ask directions from. There wasn't even a pay phone. But then again, he wasn't sure he could use it given that he had no spare change to begin with.

Rey closed his eyes and mentally berated himself from his stupidity.

Still, with all that was happening, one would expect a child his age to start bawling or even throwing a temper-tantrum (yes, even teenagers are capable of doing that). But Rey was always calm. Rey did not throw temper tantrums.

So, he did the only thing that he could think of: walk.

He got there by walking in random directions; maybe he could get out of there by walking in random directions. The park lights suddenly turned on. Confirmed: it was nighttime. He heaved another sigh. He was quite sure that by the rate he was getting nowhere, he would miss dinner.

This is what he wanted right? To be left alone.

And that's what happened.

He had spent the early years of his life alone in that dark room. After that, he met several people. Not that many, just four to be exact.

Marietta was very nice to him, but did not seem to care much other than doing her chores. She left soon after, and she didn't seem that important really…because she preferred to stay in the background.

Then, there was Talia. Unlike Marietta, Talia did not have any misgivings towards spending time with Rey. She always welcomed him with open arms, hugged him and treated him like a son. She gave off the feeling that she wanted to become part of Rey's life. But she also left.

Rau was his savior, in more ways than one. Their relationship wasn't the conventional father-son type; nevertheless, he could feel some sort of strange connection to the man. But now, it seemed as if he was leaving him as well.

The last person was different.

"Rey?"

A smile.

Saffron eyes twinkling amusedly.

"You seem to be lost."

Gil was different because he was there when everyone had left him.

-

* * *

- 

_**Author's Notes:** Just a tidbit: The title was taken from a song from Gensoumaden Saiyuki, 'Solitude.' It was sung by Genjo Sanzo's (and coincidentally, Rey and Rau's as well) voice actor, Toshihiko Seki. For those who watch the show, Son Goku is voiced by Hoshi Souichiro (Kira) and Cho Hakkai by Ishida Akira (Athrun). See? You learn something new each day. If you want to hear them sing, go to gendou (dot) com and download their image songs. (snicker) If you want to hear 'Athrun' sing (actually, it's Cho Hakkai), download 'Knight of Midnight'._

_If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to put it in your review. I noticed that when Gilbert told Rey that Rau was dead, Rey didn't even look mournful. So, that got me into thinking that he and Rau sort of 'drifted apart.' What about you? Got any ideas on why they 'drifted apart'?_

_Thanks for reading and reviewing, and to these people in particular: **koyuki-san**,** kiki**,** Centurious**,** yuugiri**,** cc iconoclastic**,** Yzak-Freak**,** wellduh..., Gambit01**,** elven-girl10**,__** MapleRose,**__** maDeeneR-**and** Termony**. _

_Woah, did the number of new reviewers just mushroom or something? Either way, I'm very thankful!_

_**Special Thanks **goes to my best friend/beta-reader/critic, **Lia lostsmile.**_


	8. Chapter Seven Abscond

_Rau Le Creuset…_

_That name always came up whenever I asked other people about Rey. What I found disturbing was that Rey never talked about him. For all of the times that Luna and I spoke about the famous Commander, Rey did not mention anything about being related to him._

_Something came between them… The war, perhaps? Either way, I had to learn about this enigmatic figure and his character during the war. Only then, will I be able to learn the reasons why Rey never talked about such an important person in his life. The information that I got from Marietta Brombeck wasn't enough. I needed another source._

_After the Le Creuset Team's reconnaissance mission in Orb, only one remained and stayed with the Commander until the end – only one continued to be his subordinate. He was not an easy man to cross, even more hotheaded than I was. He was even harder to track than Marietta, perhaps because of his high position. But making an appointment with Cagalli Yula Athha, the leader of Orb, was even easier than this. So, I concluded that he was making it hard for me. I had a suspicious thought that he only agreed to meet me after a call from Athrun._

_When I finally met him, he greeted me with a death glare – as expected. But what he said next threw me off and made me want to attack him._

_"Scram."_

_Yzak Joule was every bit the asshole that I heard him to be._

_-_

* * *

- 

**Chapter Seven – Abscond**

-

* * *

- 

Rau Le Creuset surveyed the familiar glass chess pieces in front of him. His was always white, while Gilbert's was always black. Always. White moved first. "I met the idiot." He moved the pawn in front of the king forward.

"La Flaga?" Gilbert responded with an automatic move of his own. He advanced his king pawn as well.

It was the knight's turn. "Who else?"

"Do you plan to kill him?" This time, the pawn in front of the queen to protect the first pawn.

Rau took a risk and finally decided to move his queen in front of the king. "I plan to kill everyone."

"Even Rey?" Gilbert mirrored Rau's move and took out his queen as well.

Rau took a deep, somewhat shaky breath. His knight captured Gilbert's pawn. "Everything is born... and eventually, it all dies. It's as simple as that."

"So, no matter what we hope or wish for, it's all pointless?" Gilbert retaliated by capturing the knight with his queen.

Rau paused and stared at his hands, completely forgetting about the on-going game. Mwu La Flaga, could easily be called his brother… or his son. It must be fate that led that to meet once more – in the battlefield, this time.

Battlefield.

The world was a battlefield, with wars being fought each and every single day.

Rau smirked. "No, no. That's not what I meant. I was only referring to the essence of our beloved world, and of the creatures known as human beings. Regardless of how long or in what way they choose to live – even though it's something they all once knew – they have now forgotten about it."

They have forgotten about the important things.

Peace…

_Life._

They could dream. They were allowed to choose their own futures. They could hope. They could wish. Pointless? No. Dreams were never pointless. Why, even he, a mere clone had a dream that kept him going. Mankind's dream. That was his dream. Mankind's dream to end its own worthless existence.

And Rey… Rau wanted for him to have a future – to have a dream of his own. Without his genetic roots to hold him back. Without mankind's greed to hold him back. Without his past to hold him back. With -nothing- to hold him back.

"But I, alone, will not forget it. No matter what, I will never forget it. If there is a value to my life, it is only that once I learned that, I have never for a moment forgotten it."

His life was valuable. Not because of the millions that were spent just to create him, but because of his mission to pass judgment. It was his mission to make sure that mankind never made the same mistake of making children like him ever again. And if he forgot about it…

…_His life would have been for naught._

…_and his curse would fall upon Rey._

Failure would result to death: both his and Rey's. Failure was not an option that he could take.

-

Rau Le Creuset felt his annoyance rise up a notch as he watched the idiotic display of soldier reflexes in front of him. Neither of the teams that he saw today could match up to his standards. He had plans for the team of elite redcoats to be assigned under him – huge plans. They were the ones who would lead him to his ultimate goals… But if those in front of him were all that the ZAFT Military Academy could produce, he may very well have to wait for mankind's demise for another lifetime.

Just as he was about to stand up and march down to headquarters to turn down the opportunity to lead a redcoat unit, he heard an outburst from one of the cadets standing in formation several yards from where he sat. From their uniform, Rau could tell that they were still in-training. And if he guessed correctly, they were probably the next batch to graduate from the academy.

Rau continued to observe the five young men behind his mask. The sudden outburst obviously came from the hotheaded, silver-haired Coordinator. After several minutes, he had concurred that they were quite a lively quintet – an interesting bunch, in layman's terms.

"Captain Yuki," he addressed the man beside him. "Do you know them?" he asked, gesturing to the five that he had been observing.

Ray Yuki followed Rau's line of sight and his face broke into a fond smile – an indication that he did know them. "Oh, them. I'm quite surprised that you don't know them."

Rau raised his eyebrows, but the effect was lost on the man, since he was wearing his mask.

"They're quite famous here," Captain Yuki informed him. "Not only because of their impressive skills but first and foremost, because of their family backgrounds."

"Interesting." It had certainly piqued his interest further.

"Four of them are the sons of members of the Supreme Council. One of them is Athrun Zala, Patrick Zala's son."

The gears in Rau's mind were turning. He stood up. "Thank you for the information, Captain Yuki. If it's all the same, I would like to take my leave."

Captain Yuki stood up as well, his brows frowning in concern. "But what about the drafting?"

"I have already chosen my team," Rau answered simply. He casually glanced at his watch. Good. He could still make it to headquarters and present his propositions.

-

"Yzak Joule." Silver-haired with what seemed to be a permanent scowl etched on the boy's face; clearly someone who was hotheaded and proud.

"Dearka Elthman." Tan and blond – an unusual combination; with a cocky smirk on his face; obviously sarcastic and at the same time witty.

"Rusty Mackenzie." The red-head; also with a cocky smirk on his face, but with an underlying gentleness to it; apparently the 'common denominator' of the group.

"Nicol Amarfi." Gentle, quiet demeanor; with hands that bore traces of his musical endeavors.

"Athrun Zala." The wild card – quiet and unassuming; evidently hiding something. The most mature in the group, and yet the most pained.

Rau scrutinized all five of them behind his mask after the roll call. They did not look any different from the way that they had looked months ago. The only exception would have to be the blood red uniforms that they were currently sporting. But now that he had met them face to face, he had more or less a deeper understanding of each one of them. "I am Commander Rau Le Creuset."

Nevertheless…

Pawns. They were all his pawns. But what exactly differentiated a pawn from another pawn? A pawn was meaningless if it was captured by the other side. But if the player had intended for the pawn to get captured to disguise his true moves, then the pawn would have served its purpose and its capture wouldn't have been for naught.

Redcoats. What made these redcoats different from the others? Because all of them fell under the second classification of pawns.

Rau smirked. "First rule of Team Le Creuset is to never question the mask."

The reaction from them was expected; the rookies looked as if they didn't know whether he was serious or not. Rau could clearly read it from the expressions on their faces. Nevertheless, serious or not, he was certain that he gave off the feeling of someone that shouldn't be crossed.

There were quite a number of rules in his book, but there was no need for them to know all of them. After all, the only thing that a pawn needed to know was to move forward. Not diagonally, L-shaped, or sideways – only forward.

"You must be expecting me to give a long-winded speech about the reasons as to why we are fighting. Sorry to disappoint you all, but I was never one for speeches. And you all know why we are here." Rau paused and smirked for effect. "To end the war."

-

_"Rau?"_

_"What?"_

_"Why do you wear a mask?"_

_"Because… I hate my face."_

_"But Talia said I look a lot like you! Does that mean that you hate my face as well?"_

_"Your face is different from mine."_

_"Really? How come?"_

_"I can't exactly imagine you with a sneer on your face."_

_"If it helps, I can't imagine you going out without your mask on."_

_"I did…once."_

"_You forgot it?"_

_"…Leaving behind something doesn't always mean that you forget it."_

-

Rau forced himself to leave the comfort of his day dreams and looked up at the Elizabethan-style house that was Gilbert's. He had always thought that the architectural style suited Gilbert perfectly, but he couldn't say the same for the size. It was big, considering that Gilbert lived alone. When and where his friend had acquired the property, he couldn't care less. What mattered was that it should provide a healthy living space for Rey.

Rau was never the idealistic type, but when he met Rey he began to hope for a tomorrow. Not for him, but for the child. From the moment he saw the child, he had made up his mind that Rey wouldn't live in the shadows of the man from whom he was cloned from.

_…Unlike him._

Because no matter how much Rau tried to distinguish himself from his 'gene benefactor', he just couldn't. He saw himself as someone superior to others, because he -was- superior. He was the only one who saw mankind as the monsters that they were. He wasn't a genocidal villain. He was the catalyst that would speed things up and bring mankind the Armageddon that it was searching for all throughout war's history.

"Aren't you going inside?" The familiar voice of Gilbert Dullindal cut through his thoughts. He was coming from the direction of the garden, with the equally familiar, annoying, little notebook in his hands.

"Not really. I just thought that I'd drop a few of Rey's things," Rau answered nonchalantly. He gestured at the small box sitting innocently in the passenger seat.

"Rey's not here," Gilbert pointed out. When Rau just shrugged in reply, his suspicions were confirmed. "But I figured that would be more favorable for you."

Rau raised an eyebrow. "It's not so much as favorable as convenient. I'm not up for questioning, as it were."

"So, this makes his living arrangements permanent?"

Rau averted his gaze and sighed in frustration. "You just can't make it easy for me, can you? I couldn't just drop his things and drive off without questions, could I?"

Gilbert smiled – to further annoy his friend, it seemed. "But that would be quite dreary, don't you think? And we know how much you prefer to keep things interesting."

Rau did not answer and stubbornly refused to meet his friend's eyes. Gilbert had a habit of sticking his nose in someone else's business and then pointing out the things that one would normally want to ignore. But he rarely did it, preferring to keep his more charming façade, but it seemed as if it wasn't the case this time. Rau glared at his friend, his irritation clearly visible through the absence of his mask.

Gilbert returned the gaze evenly. "If I would be having a permanent 'son' quite out of schedule, I would like to hear some reasons."

"Don't be an idiot. You know the reasons," Rau answered evasively, with a hint of annoyance. He opened the door to the passenger seat and extracted the box. "I will still visit him."

Gilbert accepted the box without bothering to look at its contents – his piercing stare completely focused on his friend.

"Just promise me that he won't become someone like me," Rau mumbled softly, with a trace of aberrant desolation in his voice. "No matter what science says, he is a different person from me. No matter what happens, he still has a future…_ I will make sure of it._" He paused and took a deep, calming breath. "One more thing," he said before moving into the driver's seat, "It's forged, but it will clear things up if ever the need arises." He handed a thick manila envelope to his friend. After that, he drove off without a word.

He was making the right decision. He was sure of it. Rey would be better off with someone like Gilbert. Gilbert would see to it that Rey was assured of a future.

Inside the envelope was Rey's future – documents showing that Gilbert Dullindal had full custody over Rey Za Burrel. The world will end. But Rau would make sure that Rey managed to enjoy his life to the fullest until that fateful day.

Rau didn't have a tomorrow. And hopelessness was known to be contagious.

He shifted gears and accelerated the car, until the big house was nothing but a tiny pin-prick in his side-view mirror.

Yes, he made the right decision to leave Rey.

-

Rey surveyed the box with curious eyes. He looked up at Gilbert questioningly.

The black-haired man gave him a reassuring smile. "I dropped by Rau's house and I thought that maybe you'd like to see some of your things again."

Rey took the box from Gilbert's hands, head bowed and strands of blond hair shielding his eyes. Inside the box were mementos of his childhood in the first ever home that he had ever known. "Thank you." His grip on it tightened. "For everything…

…_Please tell that to Rau."_

-

* * *

- 

_**Author's Notes:** Before Yzak-fans pelt me with choice rotten tomatoes, let me explain why I called him an 'asshole'. Technically, it was Shinn's point of view and guys never call fellow guys 'jerks'. Their vocabulary is so eloquent that every guy that antagonizes them is called an 'asshole'. I hope I cleared that up._

_Yzak and Shinn… I've always wondered what would happen if they ever met. Shinn's stubbornness and hostility towards Athrun could put Yzak's to shame, don't you think? The good thing about writing an intelligent fic (oh, come on. Humor me here…) is that you get intelligent readers/reviewers as well._

…_Enter the Le Creuset Team. Who didn't see it coming? Come on, spill. Don't worry, though. No focus on goody-goody protagonists here. It's all about the villains:D_

_Who will Shinn talk to next? Got any ideas? I do, but I'm not telling. ;P_

_---_

_**THANK YOU VERY MUCH**:_

_To the readers of this fic! And to the reviewers, in particular: **koyuki-san**, **viper**, **Centurious**, **elven-girl10**, **WillTheWatcher**, **Gambit01**. To **MidnightReverie**, for putting me in your fanfic recommendations list! I really appreciate the gesture! I feel so flattered! Lastly, to the person who makes sure that I update on time, and minimizes all the stupid spelling/grammatical errors that I make, my beta-reader (and best friend), **Lia lostsmile**!_

_-_


	9. Chapter Eight Idiosyncrasies

_After I got kicked out of Yzak Joule's office, I decided to go to the park. (He told me to "go check out the reports in the archives" if I "wanted so badly to stick my nose where it doesn't belong.")_

_I was busy admiring the sakura trees – and cooling my temper in the process – when someone suddenly bumped into me. I felt something cold splash down my shirt and my annoyance returned. "Watch where you're going!" I glared at the orange-haired man, who in turn gave me a curious look._

_I expected him to apologize, but instead he gave me a playful punch on my shoulder as if we were long-lost buddies. "Shinn! Good to see you again!"_

_I narrowed my eyes at him._

_"It's Vino – Vino Dupre! You know, the guy who used to suffer a lot because you kept busting the suits?"_

_I didn't recognize him because of his full-orange hair. Vino had always been known for his obsession with his hair. After he yapped about his girlfriend, his job as a technician at Maius Military Industries, the latest gadget that he was planning to buy, and almost everything about his life; he finally asked me. "So, what about you? What are you up to?"_

_What -am- I up to?_

_I'm not chasing after a girl. I'm not working as a top pilot in the military. I'm not even planning to replace Mayu's – no, my battered pink cell phone._

_"I'm… writing something."_

_Vino laughed. "You? A writer? You're really weird, Shinn!"_

_I stared dryly at his bright orange head. "Says you."_

_-_

_

* * *

_

-

**Chapter Eight – Idiosyncrasies**

-

* * *

- 

-

He stared at the figures written in his notebook and a slight frown made its way into his features. Something was wrong with the equation. The result was lower than what he expected, after all. It was easy to tell whether an answer was wrong or not, but to figure out where the equation had gone wrong was where the actual problem lay. For simple equations, it would have been an easy one, but not with complex equations such as the one giving him headaches lately.

"3x7y should be cubed, not squared," a soft voice corrected from behind his desk.

Gilbert smiled as he leaned back on his chair and surveyed the owner of the voice through amused eyes. When Rey first arrived at his house, his blond head barely reached the table. Now, he was at least a good one-and-a-half feet taller.

Rey raised an eyebrow and tapped the aforementioned monomial with a finger. "It should be cubed," he repeated.

With a nod, Gilbert complied and wasn't surprised at the least when he finally ended with the expected result. "I've always known that you were smart."

Rey averted his eyes bashfully and muttered a small "thank you." He tilted his head curiously after taking another look at the complex equations written in the notebook, but otherwise said nothing. Sensing that Gilbert probably needed his privacy back, he went back to browsing through the vast reading selections in the library.

For a moment, Gilbert stared at the teenager pensively. He was growing up… but not in the conventional sense. How many times had parents used that phrase when describing their children? But then again, how many of those parents had children who aged twice as fast as normal?

As expected, Rey was just like -him-.

_'And just as intelligent, it seems,'_ Gilbert thought wryly. He had always wondered whether the mind had aged along with the body – or if it was delayed somehow. But it was obvious that the former was the right answer.

Rey was not a child anymore.

-

Rau had never liked dark places. They held a kind of gloom in them that even someone like him could feel. He hated that room in Mendel. He hated the PLANT Supreme Council building in Aprillius One. He hated Patrick Zala's office. He hated Gilbert's office.

Gilbert was smiling that annoying know-it-all smile of his. "You could have just visited me at my house."

The irritation and annoyance that Rau felt did not show on his face. After all, how could he be a manipulating villain if he did not know how to control his emotions? "That statement does not warrant a reply," he said dismissively. "How is he, by the way?"

"Rey's doing fine. I think he might have taken a liking to people-watching."

"That shows that he's more sociable than I am," Rau muttered inaudibly.

But Gilbert, ever the observant one, still heard it. "It does?" He shook his head. "He just watches them, he never -joins- them."

Rau shrugged. "It's…different." Gilbert wouldn't understand – or he was choosing not to. Either way, it was a topic that he was in no mood to discuss at the moment. He opted to steer the conversation to safer waters. "I heard that Talia just gave birth."

The smile was still on Gilbert's face but his grip on the pen that he was currently holding tightened considerably. "Oh? So you're keeping track of her life now?"

Rau smirked. _'Now, we're even,'_ he thought, amused at his friend's predictable reaction. "Her husband's brother-in-law, Frederik Ades, is a colleague of mine. But…" and this was where it was bound to get interesting, "it seems as if the marriage is on the rocks."

If Gilbert was surprised, happy, angry, or excited, he never showed it. The smiling-poker expression was fixed on his face. "And what should I do? Offer my shoulder for her to cry on?" he asked with just the right amount of sarcasm on his tone. The smile was wiped from his face and his gaze became hard. "Act as if nothing happened? Scorn her for choosing the wrong person? I understand that I could've done something to prevent this from happening… But not everything is under my control."

But no matter what Gilbert said, the regret was evident in his voice. Even after all those years, Rau was right into thinking that Gilbert still hasn't forgotten…or moved on.

Rau shook his head. "You'll only lose precious time thinking about it like that. The path you didn't choose is the same as the path that doesn't exist. 'That time, if only I had…' No matter how many times you turn and look back, you can never go back. You can never change anything. You can always only go forward towards a future you can't see. Some day beyond the 'now'… Some place beyond the 'here'… It must be there – something wonderful. And seeking that, you will wander eternally on the path of blood, won't you? All of you." He scoffed arrogantly. "It's tragic."

After a few moments of silence, Gilbert spoke up once more. "You sound awfully detached about this. What makes you so different from us?"

Rau stared impassively at his friend. Then, he sneered. "I am different because I -can- see my future."

Gilbert raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And what do you see?"

There was a time when he thought he had a future, but that 'future' disappeared the moment he knew what that 'future' was. Rau smirked. "I see that I have no future."

-

The park had always been some sort of a place of solace for Rey – even if the sakura petals did sometimes make him sneeze. He went there during the times when Gilbert would be out of the house; working, it seemed.

Rey learned from his mistakes, and after that little 'lost' incident, he never bothered to venture forth into the deeper part of the park. There will always be other people around, no matter what he did. They never bothered him anyway, so what was the point of staying away from them?

It was the sounds that bothered him at first, he had to admit. Every child's laughter, every mother's whisper, sounded unusual to his ears. But the more he was exposed to it, the more he found them to be somewhat musical. The scenes that he observed may have passed as mundane for other people, but for him – someone who was not given a chance at the mundane – it was special.

It was his only chance for a glimpse of what it was like to be normal.

Sometimes, he could see boys and girls his age, walking past and talking about school, what clothes to wear, what games to buy, Lacus' Clyne's latest single, and other nonsensical stuff. None of them talked about telomeres, about seizures, or about blue-and-white pills.

After several more years, they would be discovering scientific breakthroughs, leading political factions or maybe just plain living the simple life.

But Rey… after several more years, would he still be able to go the park and listen to the sounds of life? Or would he waste away in Gilbert's house, reading books, correcting mathematical equations, and playing the piano?

He had so many questions…

_…but he was afraid of the answers._

He was old enough to know about life and death. He knew that by the rate that he was going, he would soon die. Would he die without knowing the answers to his questions? Why he didn't have a mother or a father; why he spent the first years of his life in isolation with only scientists keeping him company; why he had the misfortune of having this condition; why Rau left him. He thought about it night and day, but he still didn't have the courage to ask them out loud.

This, it seemed, was what was normal for him.

He looked at the picturesque scene in front of him.

Rey concluded…that he would give anything to be _ab_normal.

-

Gilbert stared inconspicuously at the impassive face of Rau Le Creuset as he amused himself with the chess pieces on the coffee table on the other side of the office. His face had the hardness that Rey's face lacked – the face of someone who had seen many things in his life. Whatever his friend was thinking, Gilbert was sure that it had something to do with that plan of his. He knew that Rau was plotting about something, but the details were kept from him. It didn't bother him, of course. Everything had boundaries, as did their unusual friendship.

Nevertheless, it did not keep Rau from telling him things about the military. For example, Rau spoke of his subordinates a lot of times. He had high hopes for the young soldiers – especially for one Athrun Zala. Gilbert knew who Athrun was, of course, as he was the one who had analyzed his genes and partnered the young Coordinator with Lacus Clyne. From what he had heard from Rau, Athrun was quite the perfect little soldier, doing everything that was expected from him.

Rau had disclosed that they would be leaving for a reconnaissance mission in Lagrange point 3 where a new Earth Alliance military satellite was reported to be under construction. It could lead to something big – a skirmish, even – or maybe it would lead to nothing at all. Either way, their departure was in two days.

The current page on the notebook from which Gilbert was writing on fluttered, catching the black-haired man's attention. It held all the research that he had done so far, for the project that he had been working on. It was supposed to be something to while the time away but it had led to something bigger. It had piqued his curiosity – marital arrangement through genetic analysis – and he had wondered, whether other information could be pre-determined from genes.

Rau's voice cut through his line of thought. Gilbert gave the man a curious look – he honestly did not hear what it was that his friend had said. It was a fortunate thing that Rau was naturally perceptive and as such, he repeated his previous statement. "I asked you if you were up to a quick game."

A chuckle escaped from Gilbert's lips. "I am… that is, if you are up to losing."

"Don't be so arrogant." Rau smirked confidently.

Within minutes, they were engaged in a game of chess. Gilbert had captured three pawns, a knight, and a bishop whilst Rau had captured five pawns and a rook. Every piece had a strategic position, every move carefully calculated. It was hard to tell which of them would win. The 'quick' game was hitting the two-hour mark.

"Why the sudden urge to challenge me, anyway?" Gilbert asked after moving his king to avoid being captured by the white bishop.

Rau smiled – a genuine smile, not unlike the ones that Rey showed him on a daily basis years ago. "I just felt like doing something normal today."

"Something normal?" Gilbert echoed thoughtfully. "Or a break -from- the normal?"

"What is normal? Is it having a nine-to-five job? Is it having family and friends? Is it watching football every Saturday?" Rau's breath hitched, his voice became hoarse and his hands trembled as he reached for the prescription drugs on his pocket. He clenched the clear box half-filled with blue-and-white pills so tightly that his knuckles were almost white. "Or is it ageing twice as fast as a normal human? Experiencing seizures? Taking these damned pills? Plotting against everyone? Leading a war? What is normal, anyway?" He popped two pills into his mouth and forcefully swallowed them without water.

Gilbert stared at his friend, speechless. It wasn't often that Rau showed his weakness. Even when he expressed his hopelessness in Rey's condition, he still managed to maintain a somewhat poker façade. He knew how much Rau abhorred human nature, but he could never fathom how deeply it ran. "Is it why you hate the world so much? Because they are normal?" he couldn't help but ask.

Rau glared at the box still clenched tightly by his left hand. "Evil is normal in human nature."

"Oh, so you're the holy savior then that would purge the world from evil?"

After Rau had regained his composure, he laughed mirthlessly – it almost sounded manic. "I am neither holy nor am I a savior… All I am is a failed experiment." His lips curled up in a disdainful smile and pointed at the chessboard. The black king was trapped by the white bishop, queen, and knight. "Checkmate."

-

Rey's eyes shot open and he was greeted by the harsh fluorescent lighting in his bedroom. He had been having the same dream for days now. Dreams… or maybe nightmares. Someone was laughing… it was familiar and, yet, unfamiliar at the same time. It sounded so hysterical that it was hard to tell whether it was laughing or crying.

He had no idea who it was, of course. And he surmised that maybe it was just a product of his subconscious. But the thing that unnerved him the most, was that it felt like it was resounding inside his head… even after he had woken up, he could somehow hear echoes of it in his head.

Rey glared at the ceiling as if it was the one at fault.

But what else did he expect?

It was, after all, just a normal day in his life.

-

* * *

- 

_**Author's Notes:** First, this chapter was inspired by a chapter in **koyuki-san**'s Minerva Three drabbles (go read it now!) entitled 'Normalcy'. The main idea and plot is very different but it was one of my inspirations for writing this chapter._

_You might be wondering about the sudden shift in Rau's attitude. There's a reason why he was the villain in SEED, you know. Yes, I will show his good points, but I won't hesitate to show his flaws as well. Everyone has a breaking point, and he just reached his. We are nearing the start of the series, but I assure you that I won't write about stuff that you've seen already. I won't turn this into the novelization of Gundam SEED or Destiny._

_Do you think I should continue inserting a considerable amount of Rau or do you think I should shift the focus -entirely- to Rey?_

_**THANK YOU**:_

_**koyuki-san**, **Jigoku Tsuushin**, **purple1**, **WillTheWatcher**, **MapleRose**, **elven-girl10** and **Clingy**. And of course, the best beta-reader around, **Lia lostsmile**._

_-_

_ For those who did not notice, I edited the first chapters. Why? Because according to an interview, Rey is a decryogenized cloned fetus of Al La Flaga. There are a bunch of them, but Rey was the only one that was 'awoken'. And Gilbert worked for Patrick Zala.  
_


	10. Chapter Nine Rewrite

_Editing is a bitch._

_Poring through every word, checking my grammar – it's pure torture. Not that I couldn't ask someone else to do it for me but I've always been a prideful asshole. I know that my deadline is drawing near (spring vacation's about to end) and I'm not even halfway through what I want to – or have to – write. If I don't finish this on time, I might as well kiss grad school goodbye._

_Who the hell would've thought I'd end up doing something like this? I've always thought I'd be a soldier/pilot for as long as I lived. But then again, I didn't exactly expect to live for as long as I have. I've always accepted the fact that I'd be blown to bits inside my Gundam somewhere._

_I remember whenever I had to write up reports; Luna, Rey or Meyrin would edit them for me even if I snapped at them and told them to butt out. But since Meyrin and Luna are not here, and Rey is conveniently dead, it's all up to me._

_Funny._

_Not funny ha-ha or funny-weird, just funny. Because now, I can make jokes – no matter how lame – about my friend's death. Sure, it might come off as sarcastic and morbid jokes but at least they're jokes._

_The beer is getting to me._

_Scratch that._

_The beers are getting to me. Yes, I'm drunk. Probably why I'm so talkative._

_Anyway, editing is a bitch. But I'm sort of beginning to enjoy it. Because that's the only time I get to erase my mistakes and redo them all over again._

_Unfortunately, that's not the case with life._

_-_

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**Chapter Nine – Rewrite**

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-

-

Life is the process of dying.

Death is constant.

Most people would question his desire to end the human race because it is, for lack of better term, evil. But it was written, that mankind would sooner or later face its own extinction. Why prolong the inevitable?

A 'friend', if he could call him that, even accused him of being bitter for not being entirely human.

Maybe. Maybe not.

If perhaps he was born under the normal circumstances of the world, maybe he wouldn't have ended up such a genocidal villain. Psychology theories dictated so. But apparently, fate fucked-up and had other plans.

If perhaps he believed in God, he would have lived his damned life contentedly – without questioning, without challenging God himself. But his kind was an abomination, the creation of a clone, the tampering of human life was a transgression of theological principles of the worst kind.

He hated the person who did this to him – the person who didn't give him the life that all human beings deserved to be born with. Sometimes, he wondered if he had a soul. Yes, he was the Coordinator replica of that man but it didn't mean that they shared the same soul now, did it? But then he remembers that he isn't human, so it would be entirely plausible that he didn't have a soul.

Did he want to be human?

He would be such a hypocrite if he answered negatively.

No matter how much he abhorred humanity, how much he saw them as evil, greedy beings; he still wanted to be human? Still, isn't that hypocrisy? Why did he want to become human, when they were such undesirable creatures? His answer, be it a yes or a no, would both be hypocritical.

People always want what they do not have.

Human nature dictates so. It is one of the reasons why they are so greedy.

Perhaps he wants to be human to prove that he was human as well.

Of course, there were times when he wished that he could go back, to redo everything, to rid himself of everything and to just live his life. But then, who would punish humanity for its sins? They were given chances, countless chances to change everything but they still chose to fight.

If he didn't push through his plans, history would repeat itself again and again.

And that bastard's clones would be born – decryogenized – over and over and over again. Which reminds him, that he still had Mendel Colony to take care of. If he failed – which would be an abomination in itself – he couldn't exactly have little Al or little Rau (or heaven-forbid, little Rey) clones running around now, could he? Call him a savior of clones everywhere.

But that was just sugar-coating everything. Perhaps he had already gone mad and the reason why he was doing these was because he wanted to see humans suffer. Perhaps, perhaps not. Who knows? An insane man never questions his sanity.

Either way, there was no turning back.

"Time's up. Ades, launch the Vesalius."

And that was how Rau Le Creuset gave way to the start of a war that would last for months to end and would lead to the death of countless lives – his included.

-

Gilbert squinted, the bright light from outside blinding him temporarily. Having just given his reports to Representative Zala's secretary, he was on his way back to the research facilities. The whole Council was bustling with activity that it wasn't a surprise that the stern ZAFT co-founder was nowhere to be seen.

But of course, Gilbert knew better to assume that Zala might be mingling with the other politicians. Gilbert always knew better, after all. For one, Zala never mingled – he negotiated, he manipulated, he gave out orders; he never -mingled-. No, Zala was currently meeting up with one Rau Le Creuset to do some damage assessment, it would seem.

Gilbert felt his lips curl up in a rue smile. Trust Rau to do something so… impulsive. The attack on a neutral colony such as Heliopolis had its repercussions. Repercussions such as, say, ORB declaring war against the PLANTs. But Uzumi Nara Athha didn't have plans of doing so, it seemed, and Gilbert had to give the man credit for his strong ideals and beliefs.

But the theft of the Earth Alliance's five prototype suits could very well be something that would coerce the Earth Forces to retaliate. But then again, why would a neutral nation such as Heliopolis be housing those mobile suits? No matter the reasons, Gilbert was sure that this was exactly the kind of scenario that Rau was expecting to happen. The whole world was at risk of war; and it only took a slight push such as the Heliopolis incident to make war a reality, not just a risk. The slight push coming from the ever-enigmatic Commander of the elite Le Creuset Team.

The familiar black car that had been his for the past two years or so finally pulled over in front of him. The door automatically opened and just as he was about to climb in, he caught sight of familiar auburn hair that made him pause. There she was, looking every bit as she had since he had last seen her, standing near one of the fountains decorating the landscape. She didn't look like someone who had just given birth just a couple of months ago.

Talia had obviously seen him as well, judging from her seemingly frozen stature. She remained in that position for a moment, before giving him a small, somewhat awkward smile.

He gazed back stonily, gauging the expression on her face, waiting for the outline of her husband to materialize behind her. He was wrong, though; upon closer inspection, he noticed that she had changed. Subtle as it was, her features had matured somewhat. Sensing that she was just being friendly and that she wasn't with her husband, Gilbert let his features relax in an indulgent smile. And before he knew it, he was walking towards her.

He half-expected her to at least show some signs of panic, of not wanting to exchange pleasantries with him, but there was none. There was a surprised look on her face, but other than that, the smile had evolved into the familiar warm smile that he had so missed seeing for the past years.

He often wondered how they would act around each other after not seeing each other for so long. Their relationship had ended quite abruptly, but he couldn't say that there were bad feelings between them. Sure, he had not attended her wedding despite the polite invitation, but it was more out of respect for her then soon-to-be husband rather than bitterness on his part. But he would be lying if he said he didn't feel even a tad bit jealous at the idea of her standing in front of the altar with another man besides himself.

"Good morning," he greeted amiably, breaking the two or so years of silence between them.

Talia returned his greeting and for a moment, Gilbert believed that the happiness he saw in her eyes were real. They sat on a bench, just a few paces from where they stood. After they had both settled down, talk resumed; this time with Talia making the first move. "Just finished handing out a report?"

He responded with a nod. "And you? Meeting with a client?"

"Yes."

"Oh. I hope I'm not making you late or anything," he amended.

Talia smiled. "Not at all. I think the person that I am meeting may be too busy to even remember that he had previous engagements." She sighed in disbelief. "I never knew Rau could do something so reckless. How is Rey, by the way?"

"He's doing fine, by all standards. He's a smart boy."

Talia shook her head. "That's not what I meant."

"He's… coping."

"I see." Talia looked displeased by the very vague answer, but otherwise, said nothing else. "And you? How have you been doing?"

"I'm doing fine. Rau has left Rey in my care so you could say that I'm currently playing the role of a single father," Gilbert answered lightly. He mentally steeled himself for what he was about to ask next. He didn't want to, but doing so would be a sign that he had moved on – even though in fact, he wasn't sure if it happened or not. "How's David?"

The slight change in Talia's expression would have gone unnoticed by any other person, but Gilbert wasn't any other person. No matter what happened, they were friends first and foremost. "We're…doing fine." She swallowed hard before smiling.

Gilbert stared intently at her, before putting his hand on her shoulder – a sign of comfort. Blue-gray eyes were glistening with tears as Talia gave him a grateful look.

For a moment, it seemed as if that night in the amusement park never happened and everything was as it should have been. It was so easy to pretend that nothing changed between the two of them. And perhaps, maybe the lack of awkwardness and tension between them was a product of his own wishful thinking that they were still together. But no matter how hard he, or they, wished to turn back the time, the reality was that they walked different paths now. They had different obligations, responsibilities, and directions.

After that moment, they would go back to their lives, she would go back to her husband and son; he would go back to his research and plans. That moment would fade away into the past, just like their days together.

But before that happens, Gilbert decided to revel in the present and not think about the long gone past or the distant future.

-

Light blue eyes stared unblinkingly at the wide TV screen – light blue eyes that belonged to what seemed to be a young male – not yet a man, but not quite a boy anymore. It wasn't unusual for someone his age to be so hooked to the contraption, but the fact that it was turned to the news and not on some cartoon channel was in itself a miracle of the age.

Rau Le Creuset was not a personality often seen on screen. Yes, he was well-known, but only to those who followed the political events religiously. He was an enigmatic person all throughout and no matter how long his list of achievements was; he still remained a mystery even to those he was working with and working for.

It didn't help that he refused to go out in public without his infamous mask.

The familiar smirk appeared on the commander's face. _"No comment."_

Rey rolled his eyes and turned off the TV. Just as expected. No matter how hard he studied the man, he couldn't even get past the usual sneers and smirks. There was a time when Rey could safely say that he knew the man, but that time had passed.

It was only after Rau had left him did he realize that he knew absolutely nothing about the man except for his mask fetish and his penchant for sneering. He wanted to know what kind of person Rau Le Creuset was, because knowing so might give him an idea on the reason why Rau left him in the first place.

Even after he had turned on the television, Rey still stared at it. The obvious frown on his face was reflected from the plasma screen. Normally, he would berate himself for such an uncharacteristic display of emotion but he was too occupied and upset to care.

It was in that position that Gilbert found him when he got home. As was typical of Gilbert, he raised an elegant eyebrow, but otherwise said nothing. He knew that the answers – or in this case, questions – would come. Eventually.

And he didn't even have to wait long for it.

"What is Rau doing?"

It was a good thing that Gilbert was an expert at reading other people's moods – even the usually stoic Rey's. If he wasn't, he wouldn't have detected the anger laced in those tones. Now that wasn't what you saw everyday. Rey getting angry at his 'savior'. Disappointed, he had seen; but never angry.

Gilbert took his usual position from behind his desk. "He's doing what he wants. But I guess what you really want to ask is why."

Rey refused to meet Gilbert's gaze and instead opted to stare at his hands. Gilbert was right, of course. Rey was a smart kid. That fact had been established quite clearly between the two of them ages ago.

As expected, the older of the two perceived his silence as a confirmation. "You cannot expect me to fathom how his mind works," Gilbert said smoothly.

But they both knew it was a lie.

'Why did you let him do it?' That was what Rey wanted to ask, in all truthfulness. But he didn't really want to offend Gilbert. Accusing someone who had practically taken you under his wing without so much as a complaint about the added finances was hardly the way to thank him.

Maybe that was also one of the reasons why he couldn't really bring himself to hate Rau completely for leaving him. And hadn't he decided long ago that he would trust Rau no matter what? But wasn't it Rau that had shoved aside that trust as if it was nothing?

"I'm sorry for my outburst," Rey apologized sincerely, though it was hard to tell, since his voice was back to its impassive self. He still refused to look Gilbert in the eye as he exited the room.

Something was being kept from him. He was sure of it. Something bigger than Rau's sudden dreams of seeing the whole world fight against each other. For one, it had to do with his unusual condition. But he couldn't very well ask his benefactors for the answers.

Rey sighed. Did he really want to find out? Maybe there was a reason why it was being kept from him, after all. He couldn't very well just erase his mind after the horrible truth had presented itself to him.

Horrible?

Was that how he saw it?

Wasn't truth supposed to be 'enlightening'?

Rey felt his chest tighten and his hands shook from where it lay clenched at his sides. He buried trembling hands into his pockets to search for the familiar feel of the box. It wasn't there. He took out his hands from the pocket and made the agonizing trek to his bedroom located in the second-floor of the house. The spasms were just too much to bear and before he passed out at the bottom of the stairs from the severe pain, only one thought flitted into his mind.

The truth had to be horrible, if it had anything to do with the pain he felt.

-

When Gilbert saw Rey unconscious at the foot of the stairs, he did not panic. For one, Gilbert Dullindal never panicked. He picked the boy up and proceeded to put him on his bed. Rey was amazingly light for someone his size. But come to think of it, the boy had this frail quality surrounding him anyway.

He looked at Rey's sleeping form over steepled fingers. His meeting with Talia that morning just made him even more determined of what he was planning to do. He fought the urge to chuckle. Of course, his plans wouldn't be possible if Rau succeeded. It wouldn't be even needed anymore.

But having back-up plans never did hurt anybody.

Gilbert was still deep in his thoughts when Rey woke up. He automatically handed him the pill and a glass of water. After Rey had taken his medication, he finally managed to look at Gilbert straight in the eyes for the first time that day.

"I want to join the military."

The wooden chair creaked as Gilbert stood up wordlessly, as if he hadn't heard what was spoken. He made his way towards the door and opened it. But just before he closed it behind him, he turned back and flashed Rey an almost sympathetic, but understanding, smile.

Rey knew what it meant.

Think it over, first. Mistakes cannot be undone.

-

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_**Author's Notes:** Well, this chapter's vocabulary is not eloquent at all. Hardly. I even put in the F-word. Oh, well. I blame it all on 'Shinn'. After all, he's the one writing this. :D And I apologize for the long (somewhat) break. What can I say? 'Shinn' had writer's block. To answer a common question: yes, the hysterical crying/laughing man in Rey's dream in the previous chapter was Rau._

_When I started on this chapter, I was obsessed with Fullmetal Alchemist. So blame all those, anti-human and pro-villain sentiments on that show. And if you notice a change in vocabulary and writing style from me, blame it all on Artemis Fowl. I told you I adore criminals and those anti-hero characters, d'arvit._

_**THANK YOU** to those who continue to support this little piece of fanfiction._

_To those who reviewed in particular: **koyuki-san**, **Blue moon wolf**, **Anonymous**, **MapleRose**, and **Taijiya**. To my beta-reader who saw me through my – er, Shinn's – writer's block phase, **Lia lostsmile**. Oh, and to Anonymous, thanks for pointing out the Al Da Flaga thingy. :)_


	11. Chapter Ten Extemporization

_I gritted my teeth in annoyance as I caught sight of the damn clock. I have been waiting for god-knows-how-long and yet, that bitch of a secretary still hadn't made any indication that I was getting closer to talking to Yzak holier-than-thy-ass Joule. I figured that if I wanted to squeeze information out of him, I had better show some perseverance. So I decided to swallow much of my macho pride and go back to his hell-hole excuse for an office._

_He was testing any patience that I might have gained over the years; that was for certain. Or his secretary was._

_I crossed the reception room in four quick strides and cleared my throat to get her attention. She looked up from what she was doing and raised an eyebrow._

_"May I help you, sir?" she asked, voice sickly sweet._

_"Look, I'm not here to whine about my soldier's pension." I growled. "So can you just direct me to Joule's office? I've been waiting here since frickin' nine in – "_

"_Harassing her will get you nowhere. Well, maybe it'll get you a spot in jail, but that's not where you'd want to go, right?"_

_I whirled around to deal with whoever interrupted my speech and came face-to-face with a tan and blond man. I snarled. "Who the hell are you?"_

_He rolled his eyes. "Where have you been for the past years?" Then, he flashed me a cocky smirk. "Dearka Elthman."_

_I blinked._

_Well, I suppose I could always improvise._

-

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**Chapter Ten – Extemporization**

**-**

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Trust was relevant in any growing relationship. Even more so for that between commander and subordinate. It is important to be able to trust your comrades in the military because that will serve as the difference between life and death. Even though some of his relationships with his comrades weren't very friendly (with Yzak, in particular), Athrun could still count on them to watch his back in the midst of a battle.

Trust.

It was one of the first ever lessons that he – that they – had learned in the military.

So it was only natural for him to approach his commander and tell him the doubts clouding his mind. Doubts brought about by someone he thought he could trust. Doubts brought about by someone who should have sympathized with their cause.

Too bad that Athrun Zala was such a by-the-book cadet. If he weren't, he would have learned how to improvise, learned that lessons taught inside the military weren't always applicable to every situation. After all, plans don't often translate to paper very well.

If only he'd known those things, maybe he would have opted to keep his personal thoughts, well, personal.

Too bad for Athrun Zala.

_Because Rau Le Creuset wasn't the right person to disclose such thoughts to._

Oh, well.

Humanity's loss was always Le Creuset's gain.

_Always._

-

One of the things that Rau Le Creuset was good at was manipulation. There was only one person who could rival his skills in manipulating people, and that person was on his side. His first impression of Athrun Zala was the 'wild card'. But as the young Coordinator's past traumas were revealed, Rau discovered that Athrun was the easiest to manipulate among the others.

Patrick Zala's son, like the ZAFT co-founder himself, was so very predictable. A few choice words were all it took for Athrun to do Rau's subtle wishes.

_'I could've done well in the field of Psychology,'_ Rau mused in jest. He had such a wide comprehension of human nature that it was so easy to predict and dictate each and every move.

Life was a chess game, after all.

And Athrun Zala was just a mindless pawn, waiting for the right shove in the wrong direction.

Of course, there was a slight chance that Athrun might act spontaneously for once, but Rau was willing to take his chances.

Losing pawns was all part of the game.

-

Ever since Rey could remember, he had never made any big, life-changing decisions. He moved with the flow of life without complaint. When he was in the research facility, it was the doctors who made all the decisions for him. During his stay with Rau, it was always Rau. And now that he was living under Gilbert's roof, it was Gilbert's choices that mattered.

Rey did not have any problems with following others. He did not consider himself as important as the people around him. He trusted those people – Rau and Gilbert. He trusted them with his life. He showed it by following them, by taking their opinion seriously. It was the least he could do to let them know how grateful he was of everything that they had done for him.

But now…

For the first time, he wanted to do something. To join the military. His reason was simple. To find out more about Rau Le Creuset. To find out all there was to him. To help him achieve his goals, just as Rau had helped him achieve something close to a family in his life.

"This is your choice, Rey."

Rey thought that it was his choice, because Gilbert told him so.

"I've decided, Gil."

What he did not know was that in the end, every 'choice' he made, was carefully planned and plotted by Gilbert. Gilbert Dullindal cannot put off not being heartless for another year more.

"If you've decided, then I really can't say anything else about it. I will make the necessary arrangements. Give me time."

But was it Gilbert who was heartless, or was it fate? After all, Rey and Rau were one and the same. If Rau wished for mankind's end, then Rey would too. The least that Gilbert could do was to orchestrate the whole event and ensure that Rey would use his skills for Gilbert's plans. The means were the same but the end was slightly different that the one Rau had in mind.

Rey would make the perfect specimen for the Destiny Plan.

-

It was not an unusual habit. Many people did that, but theirs was caused by vanity. Why he did it, he wasn't sure. Perhaps to see how much he had grown in the span of a day? Either way, it was how he started his mornings. It was part of his daily routine.

Staring at his reflection in the mirror.

Everything was complicated and yet, it was not. He was different because he aged much faster. That was it. So simple. And yet, so complex. It was an unspoken agreement that he was not to get close to people other than those who knew of his condition. He wasn't stupid to think that his 'condition' was widely-known or even medically accepted. He had read many books, medical books, scientific journals, and none of them spoke about a disease that sped up the aging process.

For this reason, he rarely went out and did not go to school.

He settled with reading books and learning everything by himself.

It wasn't difficult for someone of his intellect.

One of the few principles that he had learned in his short life was to accept everything that Fate had thrown upon him. One does not or cannot go against Fate. So, he learned to accept it all. But what about Rau? Rau had the same 'disease' as him. And yet, he could not see Rau as simply 'accepting' his fate.

Rau was in the military.

Maybe, there, Rey would learn more about Rau.

_Why he left him._

_Why he is the way he is._

_Why he seemed so strong._

Rey wanted to be like Rau.

Maybe, if he became like Rau, he would learn how -not- to accept his fate.

The boy looked in the mirror and realized with a start, how he was beginning to look a lot like a younger version of Rau Le Creuset. As far as he could tell, they weren't the least bit related to one another. Could they? It was possible.

People may lie, but the mirror didn't.

_Couldn't._

And even if the mirror -did- lie, he would always see Rau as his father.

-

"I need something."

Gilbert chuckled softly. "You always need something when you visit. Can't you do it just to ask how Rey or I are doing? A simple 'hello', perhaps?"

"Oh, I'm sure you're doing fine," Rau answered dismissively. He did not travel all the way to his friend's research facility just to do a battle of wits and Gilbert knew that – should know that, in fact. "I'm running out of pills."

"I'm sure you are." Gilbert had the annoying know-it-all smile on his face. "Rey is doing fine. In fact, he just had a revelation on what he wanted out of his life."

The infamous Commander stared hard at him from behind his mask; Gilbert couldn't see it, but he definitely could feel it. "I came here for the pills," Rau said flatly.

Gilbert's office had not changed much. It was still sparsely decorated, and the color theme – black, that is – remained unchanged. They were sitting in front of each other, just like always, with the usual chess set in between them. But of course, Rau never came just to play chess – not anymore.

"He's really…confused… right now."

"Who wouldn't be confused?" Rau shot back with ill-concealed annoyance. "You're being irritating on purpose, Gilbert."

"Au contraire," Gilbert began, smile still in place, "I am just being the concerned 'father' that you appointed me to become. Why don't you just tell him?" he asked behind steepled fingers.

"He doesn't need to know more than what he needs to know."

"What are you afraid of?"

Rau smirked arrogantly as he leaned back on the soft armchair. "Me? Afraid of something?" He scoffed. "Preposterous."

"No, not preposterous." Gilbert shook his head for emphasis. "It is very likely. Are you, perhaps, afraid that he will turn out like you? No matter what you do, Rau, both of you have the same destinies. You can't go against fate. You yourself told me that."

"Stop it, Gilbert. I came here for my pills, not for some philosophical debate on who the hell Rey is," Rau replied. His tone wasn't angry; he sounded amused, but his eyes were hard behind his mask. "Some other time, maybe."

As expected, Gilbert did not take offense. "Maybe." He stood up and proceeded to get the box of pills from his drawer. He threw it and Rau caught in deftly with one hand. "You caused quite a stir in the Council." He decided to change the subject tactfully.

Rau brushed away the comment modestly, as if it was a compliment (which it probably was). "Why, thank you."

"Two casualties from your team," Gilbert said, tone laced with melancholy.

Rau stood up, emotions perfectly hidden beneath the mask. "It can't be helped. They did their part." The knowledge of whether or not he cared for his underlings was his alone. "The others seem much driven now, more than ever. Athrun Zala, particularly. Although…" He paused thoughtfully. "Something seems to be holding him back. A childhood friend on the other side of the battlefield."

"You'd best be careful then. Things don't always go as planned. Some, ah, unexpected factors may come into the picture to disrupt it," Gilbert advised wisely.

"As long as Athrun knows who he is fighting for, everything would eventually fall into place," Rau responded confidently. He started walking towards the door.

"What are you going to do if Rey plans to fight for your cause?" It was a question thrown casually, carefully designed to make it sound hypothetical. Rau was not the only one with superb manipulation skills in the PLANTs.

Rau stopped in his tracks. He shrugged. "He's better off fighting for -your- cause." And without bothering to turn around, "Thanks for the pills."

Gilbert closed his eyes and smiled. "And thank -you- for your consent," he replied as soon as Rau was out of earshot.

-

When Gilbert went home that day, he was greeted by the sound of Rey playing his piano. He leaned on the closed front door for a while, contented to just listen. The boy was indeed talented – a gift from either the gods or his genes.

Maybe Rau could arrange a meeting with that musician soldier of his, Nicol Amarfi. Gilbert was sure it would be beneficial for Rey. That is, if Rey was to become a pianist himself. But the world did not need pianists in times like these. What the world needed was more soldiers.

_'What I need,'_ Gilbert mused.

Of course, it was still too early. Maybe a few more months for Rey to be allowed to enlist. And even before that, there were documents to be faked and an identity to be created.

He walked towards the room and knocked softly. Predictably, the music stopped and a soft voice told him to come in. He opened the door and the sight that greeted him was a teenaged Rey still sitting in the piano, with those innocent blue eyes looking expectantly at him.

"Rau said yes."

The child's eyes widened in surprise. "Really?"

Gilbert nodded. _'What he only needs to know, right Rau?'_ He sat on one of the couches. "We still have to wait for a few months, though. You're still looking quite young for their age limit."

Rey smiled. "Thank you."

"This is what you wanted. No need to thank me," Gilbert answered. A small part of him was berating him for his deceit. Thankfully for him, it was only a small part. Easy enough to be squashed. It was for Rey's good, anyway. Gilbert was only pointing him in the direction of which path he should take.

Would it only be disappointing for Rey, if he chased after dreams that weren't meant to be?

-

Rey did not know why, but he just found himself walking towards the park one day. Perhaps it was boredom that brought him there or perhaps the need to see something else. He still remembered the reflection that looked back at him on the pond.

Did he always look so…forlorn? So lost?

A pink petal slowly floated in front of him, and his right hand lifted up to catch it. In the paleness of his hand, the pink of the cherry blossom was even more visible. Nature was beautiful, that much he had to concede. He turned his hand over and let the pink blossom continue its descent to the ground. He leaned back on the tree and watched the mid-morning rush of people going to work and of the mothers chatting softly as they pushed baby-strollers in front of them.

Everyday, many people wake up for a purpose.

That day, Rey woke up, just for the sake of waking up.

Some people went through life that way as well. Waking up in the morning and thinking up of ways to do as the day went on. Was life like that? Making it up as you go along?

Maybe one day, Rey wouldn't have to go through the trouble of improvisation.

-

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_**Author's Notes:** Phew. A chapter finished, at long last. I think we're moving at a snail's pace here. I have to move a little faster and include many events in each chapter if I want to get to Destiny on time. Then, there's the two-year gap between the series that I have to deal with. So many things to think about. I do hope I'm not boring you. I'm posting a companion fic to this entitled, '**The Birds and the Bees'**. It was humorous and thus, wouldn't very well fit with the entire story. You can check it out if you want._

_Thanks to those who read and reviewed this fic: **Gambit01, Clingy, Blue moon wolf, RAINEandMEL, koyuki-san, i Mel-chan i, cloudedge, Kageharu Kaco**._

_Special thanks goes to my beta-reader, **Lia lostsmile**._


	12. Interlude In Between

**Interlude – In Between**

* * *

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"Death lies in the shadows just around the corner,

Black cloaks billowing and darkness taking over.

Life slipping past his grasp at every passing second,

White hands retracting and all light abscond.

-

"Neither the past nor the future,

Never daring to venture a step further.

The past has long gone,

And the future yet to come.

-

"Not then or there, but now,

Only here where he is allowed.

Caught up in the midst of things,

Forever in one place, as it seems."

-

-

_The sound of papers being shuffled around reached his ears before his stoic companion spoke up. "What's this about?"_

_He fought the urge to roll his eyes. "…What do you think?"_

_"It doesn't matter what I think." Ah, ever the direct one. Sarcasm did not work on people such as his 'friend.' _

_He sighed. "I wrote it."_

_"Oh." His friend's tone of voice, in addition to the slight rising of his eyebrows, indicated that he clearly thought otherwise._

_Fine. He sighed once more, this time, with an exasperated edge to it. "…I didn't."_

_His friend looked up from his paper-shuffling and tilted his head to the side – he always did that when he was curious. "'You didn't' what?"_

_"I didn't write it. Someone else did. I just found it."_

_His friend resumed his previous task of rearranging papers. "Is that so…?"_

_Curiosity overcame him, and he just had to ask, "What do you think of it?"_

_"It's a sign of despondence and of being, simply put, 'stuck'. It cannot be judged fully merely by reading it, because the poem itself is caught in-between completion, and non-completion." His friend said all of this, as if he was talking about the weather and not making a morbid explanation of an equally morbid poem._

_Fine, then. Seeing as it was a time to show his intellect, the black-haired half of the two occupants of the room racked his brains for something equally intelligent to say. "…So… it is up to the reader to finish it for the writer?"_

_The blond nodded distractedly. "Yes. Life or death? Light or dark? Past or future? I think it is a cry for help, a cry for someone to 'move' him because he cannot move himself."_

_It made sense that way. But the assessment was too…detailed. Shinn shrugged and went back to his own task. "Yes… I think you're right."_

_Rey's normally passive face broke into a strange smile. "Of course I am."_

-

* * *

-

_**Author's Notes:** The poem is credited to moi. Sorry if it's not quite up to your standards. I have to admit, I'm no poet._

_The next chapter is still…rough._

_A stalling tactic? Hmmm… Maybe._

_For those who are curious: yes, 'Rey' wrote the poem._

_Thanks to those who reviewed: **Kageharu Kaco, Dragon of the Burning Flame, koyuki-san, i Mel-chan i, **and **Termony.** Thanks also to those who have read this fic._

_And to **Lia lostsmile**, this chappie is for you!_


	13. Chapter Eleven Nocturne

_I wasn't new to nightmares. I was a veteran in that particular subject, as a matter of fact. Dreams of my dad, my mom and Mayu. Dreams of Stellar. Dreams of almost killing Athrun and Meyrin. Those were the things that I awaited me every time I go to sleep. Sometimes, I welcome them. Mainly because that's the only place where I am able to see those that I've lost._

_Dreams, as I've learned in Psychology 101, are just a sequence of images that appear involuntarily to the mind of a sleeping person, often a mixture of real and imaginary characters, places and events. To put it bluntly, dreams are just products of the subconscious._

_But what separates dreams from nightmares?_

_Nightmares follow you even when you are awake._

-

* * *

-

**Chapter Eleven - Nocturne**

-

* * *

-

On his way home back from the park, Rey chanced upon a litter of kittens inside a box. They were being watched over by a five year-old boy with his father. A very small crowd had gathered beside it; apparently, the little kitties were being given away. From his position several feet away from them, he could hear the son whining to his father.

_"Daddy, why can't we keep Mimi's babies?"_

_"Mimi is more than enough for us. We have to give them to other kids so that they can be properly taken care of."_

Rey watched the scene curiously for a few minutes more until the crowd had cleared out and only one kitten remained. A few more moments passed, yet still there was no one who approached to claim the cat. He suddenly felt a little irked at the situation; he knew how it felt to be left alone. He was still contemplating whether or not to get the cat when someone spoke behind him.

"Why don't you get her?" It was a woman. She stepped beside him and joined him with his cat-watching. Rey glanced at her at the corner of his eye and immediately recognized her. It should've been pretty obvious. Only one person had that soft, motherly voice.

He gave her a wan smile, not caring at the slightest if she could see it or not. "Good morning, Talia." Then, remembering her question, "I don't think Gil will like it if I bring back a cat to his house."

"No, I think he'll like it," Talia answered.

Rey turned to look at her fully and finally noticed her flat belly. He looked at it curiously, realization finally dawning on him. Talia caught the look in his eyes and smiled. "You can see him some time, if you like."

"Yes, maybe some time," he answered quietly. Why was Talia acting like that? Acting as if she had never left in the first place? Acting as if she had been there all this time? It was confusing. The feeling was not at all unpleasant, just a bit different. He liked Talia. But what about Gil? Didn't Talia leave Gil? Just as Rau had left him?

Talia left his side and approached the kitten. She talked to the father, but her voice was too soft for him to hear. Finally, the boy gave her the black kitten. She waved at them and went back to him. "Here," she said once she was in front of him. She raised the kitten to his eye level and flashed him an encouraging smile. "They said he's a Bombay. Bombay cats are very affectionate and cuddly. Take care of him."

He stared at the cat looking up at him with large, round, amber eyes. It mewed softly at him and Rey's eyes softened.

He had someone to take care of.

-

"A cat," Gilbert said with eyebrows raised. Somehow, he made that two words sound ominous and challenging all at once.

Rey nodded. "A cat," he echoed softly. If he were to judge by Gilbert's actions, his poker-faced guardian didn't seem to be too fond of the black kitten. He sighed softly. "I'll take him back."

"Now, why would you do that?" Gilbert asked, amusement now evident in his voice.

Rey looked up at tilted his head to the side. "You don't seem to like it that much."

Gilbert shook his head. "No, no. It's not like that." He stared at the kitten in Rey's arms. "Can I look at him?" Rey wordlessly handed him the kitten. He stared at the black ball of fur for a moment, the aforementioned black ball of fur looking back at him.

Amber met amber.

Gilbert let out a small chuckle – almost mirthless, but Rey was too pre-occupied to notice. He handed back the kitten carefully. "Of course, you can keep him."

Rey immediately broke into a genuine smile. "Thank you."

-

The numbers were waiting to be solved, but Gilbert was too busy with more pressing matters. He seemed to be poring over his notebook, but in reality, he was watching Rey play with the kitten.

He didn't know if Talia knew about it, but his trained eye told him that the kitten was a frail one. No wonder it got left behind when its much stronger littermates were taken away by their so-called masters.

The cat looked a bit like him, with its sleek, black fur and scrutinizing saffron eyes. Who knows? It could be as cunning as Gilbert himself someday. That is, if the cat should live past that day. The kitten was weak. One fever would be all it took to kill it.

But why did he let Rey have the kitten if it was going to die?

Simple.

It's about time Rey met someone called 'Death.'

-

"Chairman Zala?"

"Dullindal. What do you want?"

"Le Creuset… how is he doing?"

"He still hasn't reported in, but I heard that the man is still alive. You need not worry for your friend."

"Oh, I'm not particularly worried. It's just that I'm currently taking care of something for him."

"Well, that isn't any of my business. Any more questions? I'm quite busy, as you can clearly see."

"Yes, sir. This will only take a minute. I want to refer someone to the military."

"And this is coming from the man who gave me Rau Le Creuset. Is he any good?"

"No. I'm actually thinking he's much better."

-

"Playing with that kitten again?"

Rey looked up, surprised. He hadn't been expecting Gilbert to be home so early. He glanced at his half-forgotten books littered on the coffee table. He was playing with the cat when he should've been studying. "Sorry," he apologized sheepishly.

Gilbert brushed his apology with an elegant wave of his hand. "It's quite alright."

The kitten, not liking being ignored, nudged Rey with its head and the teen complied by scratching it behind the ears. The kitten gave a soft purr of contentment.

"You're home early," Rey commented.

"I've got good news for you. I just submitted your application to the Chairman himself."

Rey's eyes grew wide. "Really?"

"With a recommendation from him, I'm sure they'll accept you into the military, no questions asked."

"That's…" Rey searched for an appropriate word. "…Nice," he finished, somewhat lamely.

Gilbert noticed the immediate mood change. "Something wrong?"

Rey shrugged, but the anxiety was clearly visible in his eyes. "What about the medical examination? Wouldn't they find out that there's something wrong with me."

"You forget that Rau passed it," Gilbert said amusedly. "You need not worry about it. I'll take care of it. Just worry about the qualifying exam," he finished with a pointed look at the books.

Rey smiled. "Of course."

Gilbert gave the cat one a curious look. "Did you find a name for it?"

"Not yet."

"You're so picky. It's been here for a month, and you still haven't gotten a name for it?" Gilbert commented in disbelief, shaking his head for emphasis. Then, a thoughtful look crossed his face. "But I guess it's alright."

"Why is that?" Rey asked curiously.

"Cats have a tendency to leave once they've gotten what they want."

-

_Looking at himself in the mirror had become somewhat of a morning routine for Rey. Aside from the seizures that plagued him from time to time, his reflection was one of the things that told him how fast he was growing. Everyday, maybe it was his imagination or not, he could swear he was growing older._

_He narrowed his eyes at his reflection, irritated by the fact that he had more questions than answers at hand._

_Something furry brushed past his leg and he lowered his gaze to look at it. The cat was mewling softly at him, practically begging to be petted. He kneeled and automatically reached for the spot where most cats liked to be scratched – behind the ears – making the cat purr contently._

_"You know, I still haven't found a name for you."_

_The cat meowed in agreement._

_"Kiseki."_

_Rey immediately looked up to see the source of the voice and saw Rau – mask in place, as always – standing lazily by the doorway. His eyes widened in surprise and he immediately stood up, almost knocking the kitten in the process. "R-Rau!" he blurted out._

_"Nice to know you still recognize me," Rau commented with a dry smile. He gave the room a quick once-over. He stared at the mirror for a moment, poker-faced, before he returned his gaze to the two occupants in the room. He moved away from the doorway and smiled. "Breakfast's ready."_

_Rey finally regained his composure, but instead of welcoming Rau as was proper, he brushed imaginary dirt off his sleeves and asked in a casual voice, "What are you doing here?"_

_"Gilbert was my friend long before I adopted you," Rau answered flatly._

_Rey shrugged and Rau rolled his eyes behind his mask – not that Rey could tell anyway – before leading the way to the dining room downstairs. They walked in silence. The halls seemed to go on forever and Rey briefly wondered whether or not he would see the end of it._

_"Why do you follow me?" Rau asked._

_Rey blinked at the sudden question and shrugged. "Because I want to," he answered simply._

_"Do you know where I'm going?"_

_"No."_

_"And it does not bother you." It wasn't a question, but a mere observation from Rau's part._

_"No."_

_Rau sighed, a bone-weary, tired sound that spoke volumes. "You follow me, not because you want to, but because you haven't found any paths to follow. You want to be like me and because of that, I try so hard to force you to be someone else."_

_Rey frowned at the bluntness of Rau's words. "Is it so bad to dream of becoming like you someday? Most children wish to be like their parents."_

_"I'm not your father," Rau muttered._

_Blue eyes flashed in anger and Rey growled. "I know that. You don't have to shove it in my face. Sometimes, I wonder why you took me away from that god-forsaken place only to leave me alone. Those times, I wonder if I really want to become like you."_

_"You want to become like me, but do you really know who I am?"_

_No. Rey did not know who he really was. Wasn't it the reason why he wanted to join the military? To get an idea of who Rau Le Creuset was to the world? Wasn't Gilbert always telling him how much he looked like Rau? Why did he look like Rau? Was he some sort of long-lost relative? Or was he, in fact, his father?_

_He did not say anything else._

_But Rau had more. "You want to know the reason why I left you? I left you because you were starting to remind me of me. And I told you how I hate my face. You want to know why I don't want you to end up like me? Because the life, and I use the term lightly, I lead is hell. This is the last time you will hear me say these words: You are not me. No matter what anybody says, we are not the same."_

_Those words…he could not understand why Rau discouraged him so much. Rey clenched his fists and felt all the confusion, all the frustration, fight to get to the surface and burst out in front of him. "I have no identity. Because you did not take the time to tell me who I really am. Who are my parents? Why was I left at that place? Why am I sick?" He glared at Rau, but couldn't find it in himself to totally hate the man whom he considered his savior. "I will follow your path. But I will do better than you. I will succeed in the things that you failed in."_

_With that, he brushed past a poker-faced Rau, and made his way to the end of the hall where the stairs were located._

-

Rey woke up with a start, lungs heaving and limbs shaking. He reached for the glass of water by his bedside table and drank it greedily, only remembering half-way to take his pills. It took a few minutes of labored breathing for the medication to take effect.

It hadn't been a dream. It wasn't even close to a nightmare. His conversation with Rau that materialized in his sleep was true. In fact, it happened several days ago, and the memory seemed to determined to haunt him forever.

He stared at the wall for a moment, the shadows and the hazy moonlight casting eerie patterns on the normally cream-colored designs. His gaze fell to the strange lump, unmoving, by the floor. His breathing became ragged when he realized what it was. He stood up on shaky legs and slowly began to move towards it.

_Kiseki_, so ironically named, was dead.

-

Today was his scheduled interview and qualifying exam for admission into the ZAFT military – technically, his first day in the military. So appropriate that it would be the first day he began to realize what really awaited every living creature in the planet. So ironic, that they live only to die. He had the cat for only a few weeks. Five weeks and two-and-a-half days, to be precise. Was life that fleeting? Wasn't the kitten alive and kicking just a few hours ago? He always knew that the kitten was frail, but for it to die so suddenly… it was a heartbreaking realization of how fragile life really was.

He seemed to move in an automatic fashion, with his brain running on auto-pilot, focused entirely on the events of that morning. Gilbert did not seem shocked, although he looked a tad bit saddened.

_"Everything is born…and eventually it all dies."_

Gilbert told him that it was something someone he simply labeled as 'a friend' once told him.

It was as simple as that. No need to dwell on it. Life was dispensable.

Rey finished his glass of milk and went back to reading his book.

-

"What are you watching?"

"News," Rey answered blankly, without looking up from the plasma screen. Video clips about the current situation in space were currently being broadcasted. Not exactly something General-Patronage worthy.

"With everything that's been going on, you'd think they'd have cancelled the qualifying exams," Gilbert muttered, half in jest.

Rey said nothing and continued watching. "Athrun Zala was from Rau's team, right?"

"Yes. Why?"

"He's just been declared a traitor by Chairman Zala."

"Ah…" Gilbert shook his head in amusement. "The things that love can do."

Rey turned off the screen after a few more minutes and got up. "Let's go."

Gilbert nodded, but he could see the disappointment in Rey's eyes.

-

Gilbert watched until Rey's back disappeared into the sea of red uniforms. The child was quick to bounce back from loss. He was wrong. Rey wasn't an adult yet. Not yet. He was still just a child, in so many ways. Just seven years old, if he were to count by ordinary human years.

Just a child. So gullible. So trusting. So easy to manipulate.

He briefly wondered if Rey was ready for the world… Maybe before, he wasn't. But after this morning's events, his doubts soon dispersed, and he drove off without a thought more.

-

The sound of the phone ringing stole Gilbert's attention away from the sheaf of important-looking papers he was currently attending to. He let it ring twice before moving to answer it.

"Hello?" he said, keeping his voice politely neutral.

He heard a sigh from the other line, as if the person – clearly a woman, he could deduce – was steeling herself. "Gilbert?" a familiar voice answered.

He couldn't keep his eyebrows from rising in surprise. "Talia! What a pleasant surprise," he said truthfully.

"I saw Rey in the academy today. Why is he there?" she asked bluntly - clearly the calm before the storm.

"No reason other than he wanted to join."

Talia couldn't keep her calm any longer. "Why did you let him?" she asked in disbelief.

"He's old enough to know what's good for him."

"Old enough? The boy is barely seven years old!"

Gilbert sighed. "Talia. Rey isn't an ordinary boy. I assure you, he is wise beyond his years."

"Does Rau know?"

"He gave his permission." White lies never did hurt anyone.

"I can't believe you, Gilbert!" and then the line went dead. Talia had obviously been angry. Angry enough to forget about proper phone ethics.

Gilbert glared at the phone. "You're not his mother, Talia," he retorted evenly. He smirked maliciously. "But we can definitely do something to change that."

-

* * *

-

_**First, a word of THANKS…**_

**_cloudedge, Kageharu Kaco, i Mel-chan i, eda, maDeeneR-, Termony, Blue moon wolf_ **_and to my wonderful, ever supportive best friend slash beta reader, **Lia lostsmile.**_

**_Author's Notes: _**Kiseki _means 'miracle' in Japanese, correct me if I'm wrong. It's also the title of one of Rey's compositions. You can download it at gendou (dot) com._

_As proven by my other fic 'Salute!', I am not an expert in ZAFT military organization. So please forgive this poor author and let's credit all inconsistencies to artistic-license._

_For any questions, comments, complaints, grievances, rants – positive and/or negative – please don't hesitate to contact me via reviews. I haven't been replying – and I apologize for that! – but I will now._

_**-**_

_**Nocturne **is classified as "_dreamy musica musical composition, especially for the piano, that suggests a tranquil, dreamy mood".


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